My blog has moved!

You should be automatically redirected in 5 seconds. If not, visit
http://www.mattmarksmusic.com.
Please update your bookmarks and RSS reader.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Baby, you're compressin' my heart...

Here is a nice article about audio engineering trends over the last decade or so. Yeah, maybe that sounds about as much fun as shaving a rotten asparagus stalk with your grandma's discarded Lady Bic, but give it a chance. It's written by freaking Rolling Stone so obviously it doesn't get too technical. The article gives a nice laman's description of dynamic range compression and the "Loudness War". If you've ever wondered why everything on the radio sounds twice as loud nowadays, this is a good read. There is a lot of predictable geeky conservatism, mainly of the "Analog, warm! Digital, cold!" variety, but also a good amount of realist opinions:
"Compression is a necessary evil. The artists I know want to sound competitive. You don't want your track to sound quieter or wimpier by comparison. We've raised the bar and you can't really step back."
— Butch Vig, producer and Garbage mastermind

I have fought with compression and the idea of compression since I started producing my own music. Only recently have I begun to make peace with it. Although, I wouldn't call it a necessary evil as much a necessary step in the evolution of modern audio production.

WTFCNN?

So I have had a sporadic feature on my blogs, dating back a few years to my Friendster blog (yeah, I know, I'm lame), through my Myspace blog (slightly less lame, but lame nonetheless), and into this current blog called Matt's (or Mafoo's) CNN.com headline of the day. Here is my most recent one. Well, considering the fact that the headlines grew more insipid and ridiculous as the years went by, I eventually stopped checking CNN.com at all. Thus the feature died out.
But! I was very happy to see that someone is doing the Lord's work in my stead. I found a nice little blog called WTFCNN?. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be updated very frequently. Still you can peruse it and find some choice banality in their particular selections:

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Friday, December 28, 2007

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Good ol' rock. Nothing beats that.

The secret to winning at Rock, paper, scissors.

I can't believe I had never heard this story:
A Japanese art collector who could not decide whether to sell his Impressionist paintings through Christie's or rival auction house Sotheby's, instructed them to play the game against each other.

Christie's consulted its employees on strategies and, on the advice of the director's 11-year-old daughters, chose scissors.

The little girls, keen fans of the game, explained that "everybody expects you to choose rock".

As predicted, Sotheby's went for the open palm in a bid to beat the expected clenched fist, and lost the deal.


Of course, the more devious RPS strategy is to play for what you don't want and intentionally lose. Most people won't be able to pass up the allure of a RPS game. Just play a millisecond late, nobody will care as long as they are winning. Mwa ha ha.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

My vote for stupidest new website of 2007

Blackle

Hitch on Christmas

For a far more grinchy view of Christmas, let us go to Christopher Hitchens speaking/singing for the folks at Reason. He's kind of a buzzkill but, as always, thought-provoking. And it makes at least as much sense as my Extended Shiverism view of Christmas.
Let's put the X back in X-mas!

Friday, December 21, 2007

What I did in 2007

Learned how to reprogram a NBX 100

Went to a drag show with my mom, sister, niece, and girlfriend

Beta-tested for Ableton Live 7

Played my first professional recital

Waiting patiently for 7 months (and counting!) for the return of Lost

Ditto for BSG

Ate bull’s penis

Had two blood transfusions

Recorded a new Alarm Will Sound album

Got freaky on the subway

Finally learned about dynamic range compression

Arrived at a gig with no music, had Melly fax the music from home to the fax machine in a conveniently open church office, and played the concert on fax sheets while telling nary a soul of my brush with disaster.

Had a botched operation that I narrowly survived

Started a real blog

Started a podcast

Drank Everclear for he first time (oy…)

Lived through a tornado

Created an ensemble/produced my first concert

Was banned from a Cleveland bar for attempting to pay my bill with a credit card

Pissed off D.J. Spooky

Had a morphine button for a week

Waited 8 months for a thousand-dollar check

Laughed as my friend had his arm broken

Finished my Master’s Program

Ducked creditors seeking tons of money I do not actually owe

Played a solo, sang, and performed original electronic music at Carnegie Hall

Took my longest break from horn ever

Wrote more music than I have in my entire life

Left in the middle of a rehearsal for a Carnegie Hall performance of Tchaikovsky’s Fifth Symphony (playing principal) with Benjamin Zander to hop on a train to New Haven and check myself into the emergency room.

Began writing a musical

Finally got on Gmail/Fell in love with Google Reader/ Had my life changed by getting Google Maps on my phone

Walked 3 miles up a mountain in the snow, in Vermont, in sneakers due to bad information Google Maps gave me

Collaborated with Melly a whole bunch

Played concerts in California, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Ohio, Virginia, Maryland, Holland, Massachusetts, Washington D.C. and New York (duh.)

Transcribed and arranged a piece of music for a concert for the first time

Spent my 27th birthday eating tater tots and drinking Shirley Temples

Gained and lost 20 pounds through no effort of my own

(P.S. this will be updated as I think of more. Feel free to leave any additions in the comments section!)

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Nevena Tzoneva rocks the house



Wow. Sometimes words fail me. Btw, Nevena I think I love you.

-thanks Kate (I would link to you, but you still don't have a blog! Waaa waaaaa...)

Why 2008 Will Be An Awesome Year For Movies

Rather than spending hours IMDBing your favorite directors to find out their upcoming films, here is a guide to a huge number of anticipated films coming out in 2008. This is where I found the Be Kind Rewind trailer and there is an insane amount more. Looking forward to new films by the Coen Brothers, Aronofsky, Richard Kelly, Nolan (Dark Knight, wuz ^??), Meirelles, Fincher, Tykwer, J.J. Abrams (new Star Trek?), Eli Roth, Jonze, Kevin Smith, etc.
Jesus, I could do posts featuring like 20 of these trailers. I'll save it. Just view the list.

Be Kind Rewind Trailer



This movie looks beautiful. I love Michel Gondry and this seems to accentuate his down-to-earth metaphysical approach to effects and filmmaking as a whole. It looks kind of like a gamble, but I'm optimistic (as always!).

List of Approved Baby Names

Of all of the freedoms I enjoy in this wacky country of ours, one I hold most dear is the freedom to name our children strange, awkward-sounding, and just plain dumb-ass names. Let freedom ring around all of the Bumquesha's, Sunshine's, Brooklynn's, America's, and all manner of pretentious baby names.
Actually, I kind of have a thing for alternative baby names. Amidst the many less-than-masculine tendencies I have (affinity for musicals, indifference towards sports...) is an odd obsession for the name(s?) of my future child(ren?). I've never had any desire to name my child John, Michael, Matthew, or any of the typical names of my generation. Now, while I'm not going to name my child Starlight Express or anything, I've thought a lot about finding a unique name and the experience the child would have with the unique name. My brother has had good ideas for baby naming, his three girls are named Paige, Sadie, and Livi.
But, all of these creative ideas would fall short if you happen to live in the country of Denmark, where there is a list of approved baby names, which, if your fancy name ain't on it, you're out of luck. There are a good number of names, but something tells me Bumquesha isn't on there.
I learned this courtesy of Mental Floss and an extra-courteous commenter left some instructions on viewing the seemingly exhaustive list.
Here they are:
1) Go to familiestyrelsen.dk/navne/ (add the www, etc. to the front)
2) On the left, click on Navnelister (”lists of names”)
3) The following options appear as Radio Buttons:
A) Godkendte drengefornavne (5552) - (”authorized boys’ first names”)
B) Godkendte pigefornavne (7662) - (”authorized girls’ first names”)
C) Frie efternavne (165) - (”Free surnames.” A list of of surnames held by 2000+ people, can be taken by anyone)
D) Firma- og kunstnernavne (52) - (”Company and business names”)
E) Udenlandske navne (6318) - (”Foreign names” - traditional foreign names)

Select HTML or CSV format and click on “Vis liste” to display the list.



The best is the name of the governmental bureaucracy that governs this:
The Names Investigation Department and the Ministry of Ecclesiastical Affairs
Don't fuck with them. Seriously, take your Jim, Jane, or Bjorn with a smile and exit swiftly.

Old Christmas Tunes

A couple of years ago I made peace with Christmas music. I had to, it was inescapable. Every trip outside my apartment during "The Christmas Season" was saturated with Feliz Navidad, Jingle Bell Rock, White Christmas (which I've still never had...), and the Augie Rios smash hit, Donde esta Santa Claus?. I tried glowering, displaying my distaste to anyone in eyeshot. I tried the permanent use of headphones blasting my preferred music. Mainly though, I tried to bear it like I do the cold weather, letting its tendrils of artificial goodwill lap at my hard exterior, while I held strong my rigid core of unemotional stability. Every once in a while though, as we all know, one sneaks inside and provokes an involuntary shiver.
If the definition of involuntary is a lack of control, then every shiver can be viewed as a sign of weakness. All shivers tend to deliver a modicum of transcendent warmth, one that is always proportional to the degree of prior discomfort, which is itself is proportional to ones weakness. The more one submits to weakness, the higher the priority on comfort, or the rejection of discomfort, becomes. This is where independence is lost and parasitic behavior begins. If my reward for walking 2 miles through the snow is a warm bath once I finally arrive at my home, then the independence of my walking moments are sacrificed to the weight of the moment I lower my body into the steaming water; I shiver, sigh, forget about my tribulation. During my walk, I am emotionally parasitic - I live for the bath, the shiver, much like an addict doesn't feel alive before his fix.
"The Christmas Season" is one long shiver for a country that endures throughout the year. We are addicted to it, yet we esteem it to hold its place at the end of the year, only extending it as early as the day after Thanksgiving. After Christmas is over (the 26th), we hover in a strange delirium until we dash out all memories and emotions of the "Season" on New Years Eve, and vow to start the parasitic process over with new methods of dealing with it.
About two Christmas's ago I decided to start "feeling the Christmas spirit". It wasn't so much of an embrace as it was a submission, but the seduction of submission can often trump independent desire. Picture me as Ripley, falling back into the flames, arms outstretched in vague Christ-imagery, the monster of independence ripping free from my bosom.
Here's a visual:
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

The main manifestation of my yule-tide resurrection was my tolerance and even appreciation of Christmas music. But even if I tolerate Feliz Navidad, I still much prefer the more obscure and unique Christmas songs and covers.

This collection has been making the blog rounds recently. It is a collection of old (old!) recordings of Christmas music on cylinder, going back as early as 1904! There are some favorites, as well as a whole bunch I do not know. I've had trouble downloading/listening to the songs from the site, but a commenter made a RapidShare download of them all as a whole. The commenter has no email or website, so as always download with caution, although I did and it seems legit.

http://rs216.rapidshare.com/files/77420864/Vintage_Christmas_Wax.zip

And as always, for all your old-timey music needs, check out the 1920s Radio Network. I listen to this station daily on iTunes and their selection of old Christmas tunes is great.

I'll be blogging through the holidays, but while I'm at it, Happy Annual Extended Shiver everyone!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Good review for muh hornin'

Yours truly, Matt(hew) Marks got a nice review for my horn-playing in CityMusic Cleveland last week:
Franz Joseph Haydn was well-known for his musical hijinks. His Symphony No. 59 in A major or Fire may not have been intentionally difficult, but keeping up with the composer’s idea of ‘as fast as possible’ could certainly lead a less accomplished orchestra into worlds of trouble. No problem here, however, as CityMusic’s players are more than capable. The high horn parts in the third and fourth movements were superbly performed by Matthew Marks and Ken Wadenpfuhl.

-CoolCleveland.com

Yay! All the more rewarding since I stressed like crazy before every performance of that dad-blasted Haydn Symphony! Haydn is known for his casual writing of in-the-stratosphere horn-writing. This Symphony was no exception! High B's held for 10 measures, trills on high A's... Zoinks. It was fun, but I'm glad it is over!
Now I can return to playing comfortable microtonal loopy horn stuff!

P.S. Ken was a dream 2nd horn player, super nice guy and incredibly easy to play with.

Stop in the name of the law! Merry Christmas!

Worst idea ever.

My new favorite blog.

Covering the Mouse, a daily feature of all manner of Disney covers. I am not ashamed to admit my roller-coaster affinity for all things Disney musical.
This is the type of blog I appreciate the most in my Google Reader, it's about one post a day, usually of something that is interesting, brightens your day, and is often hilariously corny. Some of the covers are surprisingly good and some surprisingly bad. Best of all are the songs that I have never heard of before. Here is the one for today, from The Happiest Millionaire, a soundtrack I should know, since I own it on vinyl.
It won't be long before Christmas by Diana Ross and the Supremes.
(Btw I kinda like this song...)

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Note: this is not to be confused with my other Disney-related recently favorited blog, Mickey Feio, a blog that consists entirely of pictures of creepy knock-off Mickey Mouses (Mice?)
For example:
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Yikes.

Brawndo - The Thirst Mutilator

It's back and it's real.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Monday, December 17, 2007

Alvin gets nasty

By the way....... I posted that last Alvin video at like 6 in the morning, whilst battling a bout with insomnia. It didn't occur to me until about 3 hours later, but while checking out Alvin and the Chipmunks trailer I came across this trailer.
Pay attention at the end:


Ummmmm..... did Alvin just eat a piece of Theodore's feces???? I mean, I've been trying to come up with an alternate explanation, but I think that's it. Alvin just ate Theodore's shit. What kind of sick, twisted movie is this??

YouTube Comment of the Day

"oo i love alvin!!! theador is too cute!! and simon is those average nerds that are funny in a way!! XD" - sora3kairi

A quick sum-up of new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie, which, surprise, looks like the worst thing ever to happen to anything ever in the history of everything. On the plus side, it shows Jason Lee finally embracing his gig-whore Scientology persona.

Here's the trailer (I recommend reading the comments on YouTube, priceless):

Germany to ban Scientology

Come on... let the crazy sci-fi cultists have their fun... They are not really doing any harm, except to people dumb enough to fall for their extraordinarily simple-minded bullcrap. Although that tends to be the M.O. of the E.U. at times, protecting the extraordinarily simple-minded people from themselves.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
(picture: Xenu keeping it real)

Sunday, December 16, 2007

How Many Five Year Olds I Could Take in a Fight

25

Looking for payday loan?

Banned from Playing Music for 5 Years

Judge bans a musician from playing music for 5 years. This is odd. I mean, the guy sounds like a creep, but on what authority can a judge order a musician to refrain from performing? That's bullshit. Not that the dude's band was particularly good (here is the Myspace for the band, NAILWOUNDS), but that shouldn't matter.
"You love your music," the judge told the defendant. "Your music has been the tool by which you have ingratiated your way into the lives of these girls. You may not play in a band in any public appearances during the term of your probationary period. I'm taking away from you the tools by which you worked your misdeeds, sir."

Million bucks that judge listens to John Tesh.

(PS this is my 100th Post on this blog!)

12 Days of Christmas, Liberal Edition (??)

Wow. This is the most retarded thing I have ever seen.


My favorite part is "700 Billion New Spending" that never seems to come out right. Although, the "Hillary's Woodstock Museum!" bitch, who attempts to show off her singing throughout, fucking up on the last chorus is pretty great.
What a bunch of dumbasses. Merry Christmas!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Missing Melly Morning



Miss you Melly.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Humans Evolving More Rapidly Than Ever

Wow, apparently it is the opposite of what my unscientific brain supposed, that the effect of natural selection was being hindered by modern medicine and technology. Evolution is actually accelerating, mainly due to rapid population growth and environmental factors.
Money quote:
"We're more different from people 5,000 years ago than they were from Neanderthals," said study co-author and University of Utah anthropologist Henry Harpending.


Zoinks... Those are the cats we are taught to look up to in the Bible!

Freqshift Debut this week

I believe that there cannot be too many new music ensembles in New York City. I feel very lucky to be here at a time when young people are doing tons of cool stuff with great, challenging, entertaining music.
One such new ensemble is Freqshift, a new collective full of musicians from the Manhattan School's new contemporary music program. They have a couple of concerts this week featuring music by Berio, Andriessen, Takemitsu, a few of their own composers and more. Check it out. I would if I were in town, but I'll be at the next ones.
Here is the info:

Freqshift is a New York-based musical collaborative that presents exciting new chamber music to new audiences. Dedicated to excellent music-making, the group trains together as the very first members of the Manhattan School of Music's contemporary performance program in the Zero Gravity ensemble. Freqshift is committed to the collaborative process between composer and performer and its programs consistently include new works by composers in the Freqshift ensemble and other local talents. Bringing contemporary classical music to larger and more diverse audiences is of the utmost importance. By programming culturally diverse repertoire, performing in non-traditional venues, and presenting multi-media projects, Freqshift promotes a wider understanding of and appreciation for the music of our time.

Freqshift is

Amelia Lukas, flutes
Philip Everall, bass clarinet
Victor Lowrie, viola
Amali Premawardhana, cello
Andy Kozar, trumpet
Will Lang, trombone
Andy Akiho, percussion
Vicky Chow, keys
Megan Schubert and Jeff Gavett, voices


Thursday, December 13, 8pm
The Gershwin Hotel - Music by Berio, Carter, Creshevsky, Takemitsu, De Groot, Andriessen, and Freqshift's own Andy Akiho.

The Living Room at the Gershwin Hotel, 7 East 27th St.
$10 cover, $5 for students - for more info 646 207 0595


Saturday, December 15, 8pm
The Player's Theatre Arts Festival - Music by Berio, Lowenstern, Davidovsky, and Freqshift's own Andy Akiho and Vicky Chow.

The Players Loft, 115 MacDougal St.
Tickets: $15 (at the door only) - for more info call 212-475-1449

Monday, December 10, 2007

The Beer Nazi

So I've been pondering my odd bar experience last night, mainly for a way to classify what the fuck the bearded hipster's deal was. I told my mom about it and she explained, "He sounds like the Soup Nazi". That's it! I met the Cleveland Beer Nazi! Come one come all!! See the mysterious Beer Nazi! Let him enchant you with his sarcasm, but be wary of employing any sarcasm of your own, lest you be banned for life as I was!

Banned for Attitude

I just had one of the most surreal experiences of my life. Yeah, I know that whenever a blogger starts a post this way it means you're in for a self-indulgent account of some action that has no bearing on your life whatsoever. But I just had to share it, it's too great.
So I'm in Cleveland, playing a concert with Citymusic, and so far it has been great. Coming out of the last exhausting week, I was hoping for a good experience and it's proving to be really positive: I feel good about my playing, I'm staying with a nice family in a mansion, and the people in the orchestra are shockingly nice and down-to-earth. Of course, as I've come to realize with life, a dose of good vibes tends to leave you wide-open for some bad ones thrown your way.
So after a gourmet dinner at the house of the people who run Citymusic, I went with some friends down to one of the few bars in this part of town. I get there and it's a cute little place called Wine Bar: great beer selection, one bearded hipster dude working. About 3 of us sit at a table and approach the beer fridge. So at this place, for bottled beer you grab one and wait for the guy to open it for you. I asked Bill to use his bottle opener and he was like, "no man, they'll kick you out if they see you opening your own beer". Yeah, that was my first hint that something was off about this place.
So Bearded Hipster (which is its own brand of hipster, really, it is so commonplace), comes and opens our beards with many a sassy, ironic comment. I remember being surprised by how snippy he was, it was kind of weird. Eventually many more people gradually joined our table and, having no money and only a card, I realized how annoying it would be to try and figure out the tab. Bill had some cash so I offered to buy him another beer at the bar if he would take care of mine at the table. This seemingly sensible solution would prove to be harbinger of doom for the future of Mafoo's relationship with the Cleveland Heights Wine Bar.
Bill and I approached the counter and asked to buy two beers. Bearded Hipster explained that he couldn't let me buy two beers at the bar since I had already bought one at the table. Essentially I was bound from the moment I sat at the table to only being on the mass bill at the table, by now up to about 13 people. So in a calm manner, if a might assertive, I tried to reason a way to make my plan work. Really the worst I got was suggesting that if I were to abandon my friends at the table and promise not to speak to them for the rest of the night, then would it be OK to pay separately.
Finally he said "Fine." in a curt manner and rang me up, muttering to some fellow hipsters at the bar about how, if I didn't come to the bar with this certain girl he was friends with that he would kick me out. I kind of thought he was kidding.
I got back to my table and about 5 minutes later he came to pick up some glasses or something and started talking to people around me about what a "douchebag" I was, and how everyone at the bar thought I was a total asshole. I attempted to talk calmly to him, but he was intent on expressing to everyone at the table how much of a complete bastard I am. He was actually pretty furious and was literally scowling at me in this middle-school fashion. He then informed the people at the table that I was no longer welcome at the bar and that I was not to be allowed back. I was just kind of confused, so I got up and left. I kept racking my brain about what I could have done to piss him off so much. I mean, I guess I was essentially telling him that his policy was bullshit but I was really just expressing my opinion. Is that enough to be banned for life from a bar? And all he really had to do was say, look dude this is our policy, take it or leave it. But I think the fact that he gave me what I wanted was what really sent him over the edge. Very odd. Bill later informed me that several people he knows have been banned from this bar for other similarly petty offenses. How the fuck do you stay in business by banning your customers for being disagreeable?
It's kind of a drag because this wack-ass bar seems to be the main hang for the people in this orchestra. So I guess after each of the 6 concerts this week I'll just hang out in Starbucks and revel in the glorious corporately-enforced manners of the dead-eyed baristas.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Ensemble de Sade Concert tonight

Anyone in or around New York. Come check out this crazy concert I am developing with Mellissa Hughes and James Moore. I promise you it will be unlike any concert you've been to. Yeah, yeah, yeah you've heard that all before... Let's put it this way. I really hope you like Tang.

Ensemble de Sade strives to revolutionize the relationship between performer and audience. While the standard deviation from the traditional concert modes has been to relax the boundaries between performer and audience, Ensemble de Sade seeks an intensification of the boundaries, an increase of the tension between the two opposing sides. The underlying hostility will become the basis for a new expression, one that exposes and utilizes the thinly concealed expressions of masochism and sadism inherent in all performance settings.

Music by: Michael Nyman, John Zorn, Krzysztof Penderecki, and featuring a radical imagining of Arnold Schoenberg's Pierrot Lunaire

http://www.ensembledesade.com

Ensemble de Sade is:

Caleb Burhans - violin/viola
Mellissa Hughes - voice
Bill Kalinkos - clarinet
Kelli Kathman - flute
Amir Kohrospour - piano
Matt Marks - horn
Kevin McFarland - cello
James Moore - guitar
John Pickford Richards - viola
Wil Smith - organ

and featuring Sara Katzoff as the Mistress of Ceremonies

It is on Friday December 7th at 8:00pm

First Presbyterian Church, Brooklyn Heights
124 Henry St. Brooklyn NY

$10

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Deutsche Grammophon online store

Wow, this really makes me feel like I'm living in the not-too-distant future. Deutsche Grammophon has a new online store, selling DRM-free, 320 bit-rate mp3s for $1.29! The top classical label has now entered the 21st century, something to which they have been slow as hell at adapting. I've already made about three impulse buys.

This album, I have lost two copies of and spent countless hours pining over. Now it's mine again! If you are feeling particularly impulsive (as I tend to be in any given minute), check out the Zemlinsky Maeterlinck Lieder. Seriously fucking mind-blowing.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Sports photos to make you laugh. Laugh now!!

K, I don't really watch/like sports, but these photos cracked me the hell up, holy crap.

Just study this pic for a while. All the different players in the drama, facial expressions, it's like a renaissance painting:
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Off to Cali

Light blogging this week, I'll be in Cali premiering a new John Adams piece with Alarm Will Sound at Stanford.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Digital Global Trans-Analog Connectivity 2

As a follow-up to my recent post on DJ Spooky, which that Subliminal Kid didn't like none too much (though props to him for steppin' up!), I came across this article on a major AIDS charity called African Aid Action (supported by the Archbishop Desmond Tutu), that has sharp words for celebrity activists such as Bono and others.
Head of African Aid Action, Jobs Selasie states:
"Aid has failed because campaigners, charities and governments do not have the right plan and excluded African entrepreneurs and grassroots organisations from being part of the solution," said Selasie.

"You can't impose change from without," he continued. "It has to come from within and we won't end poverty with handouts. Africans need to fight corruption and work hard."


Africa will succeed only if international investors will take the risk of supporting African businesses. Handouts from the wealthier countries will always be a temporary fix. I will give money to homeless person on the street, but I never think that the dollar I gave him will pull him out of his situation. It will buy him a sandwich. Too often I hear of peoples' fear of globalization, specifically in that continent. Our capitalist liberal democracy may not be perfect, but anything would be better than prolonging the continued tragic situation much of Africa is in, most familiarly in the Darfur region of Sudan, and even more so in the DRC.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

How to blog?

I've read many articles and blogs on the best way to maintain a readable blog. The most common recommendations are:

Write about what you are passionate about.

Write about what you know.

Keep the blog focused on a certain topic or subject.


This last one is extremely common, highly recommended for bloggers wanting to hit a niche market. For some reason I just can't seem to muster any interest into focusing my blog into one area of interest/expertise. I am the type of person who would announce that I am running the world's first blog devoted entirely to sexual undertones in Christian children's songs, then grow tired of it in about a month. Or I'd start a contemporary music blog and post sporadically, whenever the stress of being a contemporary musician didn't get in the way.

The thing is, I am passionate about a whole bunch of things. I can speak on at least above-laman's terms about many different topics and with expertise on a few. The most focus I can offer you is a concentrated exuberance about several topics.

Here are the subjects you will read about the most on this blog:

1. Politics and social issues - If you are a reader of this blog you are familiar with my high degree of cynicism toward those on the right and left end of the political spectrum. I live in New York City, so railing against the right, although it is an easy and worthy target, can often feel like you are preaching to the choir, shouting into an echo-chamber. Thus, often you might often find me valuing the criticism of the left over the right, because it isn't often offered by people who also think the right is equally full of shit.

2. Movies - I am definitely an armchair film buff, specifically extreme cinema. I am not specifically interested in art house or foreign cinema - as in I won't just go to the local indy theater and say, "lay one on me". I love certain art house and foreign films, specifically Japanese, but I'll usually seek it out because of the director. In the last few years I've began seeking out movies by director and it has changed how I view, and mentally catalog, films. Here are the most common directors you will find me writing about: Kubrick, Kurosawa, Miike, Tarantino, Cronenberg, Solondz, Scorcese, Lumet, Lynch, Miyazaki, Scott, Korine.

3. The Family Guy - It's no secret I think FG is currently the best comedy on TV. I know there are plenty who disagree with me on this one, but I hold to it! It's humor is a new type of intense irony and sarcasm that is only really understandable by members of my generation, we who were raised by our TVs, who learned to voice our praise and scorn using elaborate folds of sarcastic metaisms. Each episode of FG reaches new realms of absurdity, employing new methods of tedium, shock, and the macabre to achieve this. There are always jokes that fail in every episode, but that doesn't make the successful jokes any less so. Btw, here is a description on Wikipedia of the plot of an upcoming episode:
Peter believes he's a pirate; this episode will include a five-minute scene involving Peter trying to pick something up.

Hell yes.

4. TV - I am a fan of good TV in general. I do not think it necessarily rots your brain. It can, if you choose to watch mind-numbingly bad shows, pure and simple. There are shows that are smart and beautiful expressions of art. You just have to find them. My favorite shows, currently on, are Lost, The Family Guy, Battlestar Galactica, South Park, The Office, 30 Rock, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and The Wire.

5. Music - Yeah, under a very broad umbrella. I am a professional musician, so often this is my escape and you won't find me writing too much about music. Of course, many things are too tempting to tell, so you'll sometimes find me posting about: contemporary classical music; electronic music and technology; bands and acts I dig; shows I've played, seen, heard about, and/or want to attend.

6. Random Crap - Sometimes the stories I find on my Misc Blogs will prove too irresistible to repeat. That is why you will often find stories about musical roads, videos about wacky children's shows, and gross food I secretly want to try.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Worst. Dirty Talk. Ever.

I'm not really following the story of the murdered British girl, but the hearsay in this article is really quite amazing.

The article is titled (of course):
Couple Suspected of Murder Planned 'Wild Sex' Romp Day After Roommate Was Found Dead

And here are some choice moments from the couple's sexy talk, while shopping for lingerie, as overheard by the Italian shopkeep:

"Afterwards I'm going to take you home so we can have wild sex together"

"You can put these on at home and we'll have wild sex"

I gotta remember those lines! Smooth as butter!

Buy nothing/everything day

I bought two bottles of Fergon iron. Am I going to indy-hell now?

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Digital Global Trans-Analog Connectivity

"Brian Eno once famously remarked that the problem with computers is that there isn't enough Africa in them. I kind of think that its the opposite: they're bringing the ideals of Africa: after all, computers are about connectivity, shareware, a sense of global discussion about topics and issues, the relentless density of info overload, and above all the willingness to engage and discuss it all - that's something you could find on any street corner in Africa.

I just wanted to highlight the point: Digital Africa is here, and has been here for a while. This isn't "retro" - it's about the future. "


Shut up DJ Spooky. Dropping an Eno reference and speaking with glitter-eyed optimism about the similarities between a continent and a tool, which computers still essentially are, don't make you hip. That's like saying ice cream and the Spanish language are similar. Let's see if I can do this. Um, they both involve interesting usage of the tongue. They can both make you smile on a rainy day. Yeah, you get the idea. Go back to being adored by the ignorant experimental music elite for having a shred of insight into an area of music they know nothing about.

PS Shareware means you pay, btw, ie. try before you buy...

Conservapedia in the closet

If you needed any more proof that the farther to the Christian Right you are, the more gay-obsessed you are, Andrew Sullivan found this on Conservapedia (the ridiculously biased Right-Wing version of Wikipedia):

Most viewed pages

  1. Main Page‎ [1,906,753]
  2. Homosexuality‎ [1,572,873]
  3. Homosexuality and Hepatitis‎ [517,087]
  4. Homosexuality and Promiscuity‎ [420,690]
  5. Gay Bowel Syndrome‎ [389,278]
  6. Homosexuality and Parasites‎ [388,124]
  7. Homosexuality and Domestic Violence‎ [365,972]
  8. Homosexuality and Gonorrhea‎ [331,553]
  9. Homosexuality and Mental Health‎ [291,235]
  10. Homosexuality and Syphilis‎ [265,322]


-via The Daily Dish

Study find no link between video games and violence

Well, duh. Still, front-running Hillary has always been a major foe of video games.
Clinton said she would soon author a bill to create a federal law that would "put some teeth into video game ratings." Reminiscent of a California bill introduced by Assemblyman Leland Yee (D-San Francisco) and similar measures in several other states, the legislation will "prohibit the sale of violent and sexually explicit video games to minors" and make such action a federal offense. Clinton said the penalty for violating the law would be a mandatory $5,000 fine.
Jesus, lady. Take it easy. Of course that was in 2005, in response to Grand Theft Auto San Andreas (one of the best games ever, seriously, a work of art). Unsurprisingly I don't believe anything really came of that bill. She was just caught up in the controversy, playing to peoples' impulses. But I'm sure she would never, ever do such a thing as president, right?

Tasered for arguing over a speeding ticket



Disgusting. The most telling part is near the end when the cop explains to his fellow officer why he tasered the man, blatantly lying. He says the man was "jumping around" and that he informed the man he would tase him, neither of which actually happened as you can see from the video. Couple this type of gratuitous use of the taser with the increasing amounts of deaths by taser.

-via The Agitator

The death of The Sexiest Man Alive

I was just walking out of Starbucks, the Barnes and Noble one in Park Slope, when I saw a magazine (People?) with the Sexiest Man Alive on it. It was Matt Damon.

Ok, I was wondering. The last Sexiest Man Alive I remember there being was Matthew McConaughey, who knows what year that was. The thing is, he's still alive. I mean, I think he is. He died a hilarious Stewie-related death on Family Guy, but I'm pretty sure that was just fictional (Chris! Help me get rid of this thing!).

Are they saying that the former Matthew is now past his prime? He was fated to be replaced by a sexier, more youthful Matt? I noticed that the Sexiest Men Alive also tend to be in their forties. Does that mean when I'm a creaky, viagra-huffing, metimucil-spooner I'll be seen as Sexier? Perhaps the next variation on the reign of Matthews is the sleeker, redesigned Mafoo, due out in 2026!

PS sharing the Sexy magazine cover is the enigmatically-proclaimed "hottie", Patrick Dempsey (who may have also been a SMA). I've heard accolades to his Sexiness from countless women (including my own girlfriend!). Sorry ladies, that dude straight looks like a weasel. I don't care how alluring he might appear backed by warm lighting and a James Blunt soundtrack on Grey's-fucking-Anatomy, he's still that geeky guy from Can't Buy Me Love, no matter how much hair-product he currently employs.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

New Cloverfield trailer



Who knows if this will be good or not. I originally thought that J.J. Abrams was directing but apparently he is producing. Big difference there. This was "produced" by Steven Spielberg.
Still, it looks intriguing. I like that you don't see the monster (or whatever is killing Manhattan) and that the viewer seems to share in the characters' ignorance. That is one of my favorite aspects of Lost. Cloverfield is written by a Lost guy, Drew Goddard, so it could be cool. Though let's hope all of the build-up doesn't culminate in a monster as lame as this:
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Uf! That was a buzzkill.

(PS it's the little green man from Signs)

Getting out of jury duty

How to get out of jury duty.
I haven't served yet. I almost had to, but it was the California court system that wanted me to serve and I had already been living in New York for a few years.
I do have a real, honest reason for getting out of jury duty, but I could easily see it not working: I am an anarchist. I don't believe in prisons. I would never vote guilty on anyone, no matter how harsh the crime.
I rue the day that I have to explain my philosophy to an impatient group of jurors wanting to get home to their families and deliver a prompt guilty verdict to an obviously guilty person of a violent crime.
That is why I should never serve.

you don't need it.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
New "anti-ad" in Oakland, Ca.
I used to be into the idea of culture jamming. I bought Adbusters and shit. Then I kind of realized that it is just another way for people to feel better about themselves, by illustrating that they themselves are not susceptible to the tyranny of advertising. And, of course, in their limitless grace, they will extend a hand to guide you to the true path.

Fuck that. Why not just make a sign that says "I'm better than you.".

Ok, while I may not "need" my third vinyl copy of Linda Ronstadt's Get Closer, I want it. I want it bad.

Because,

A. One can never own enough versions of Kate McGarrigle's Talk to Me of Mendocino.

and

B. The cover, featuring Linda in a red polka-dot dress (!) folds out. So I obviously need one to display, one to listen to, and one to keep in my collection. Duh!

PS feast your eyes on Mafoo's extravagant decadence anti-consumerists! Allow Linda's airbrushed blush to seduce you into the alluring world of excess!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Monday, November 19, 2007

Strikes

I haven't really been deeply researching the motives behind the recent strikes, but in my limited knowledge:

I sympathize with the writers

but the stagehands can eat a dick.

Every since I began playing in the larger halls in NYC, the only real culture shock (a la "you're in the big leagues now boy, get used to it!") has been dealing with the stagehands. They are the most joyless, spoiled, bureaucratic stagehands I have ever met. Each time I play a venue outside of New York I am shocked at how down to earth and easy to work with the stagehands are. I have gotten used to the mentality of not being able to move your own stand and speaking through 4 people to get anything done, not to mention the surly attitudes and the fact that there are always extra stagehands present at almost every gig getting paid to literally do nothing.

But not to unfairly disparage the production level of things, the musicians union is nearly as bad. There I said it.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Recursive hypocrisy

Gurf tipped me to this curiously meta posting on Alternet featuring video of Keith Olbermann criticizing Fox News and Bill O'Reilly on his show for showing somewhat explicit images under the guise of denouncing it, whilst obviously using the material in a sensationalist manner. Well yes, Fox News is really no better than those hilarious, in retrospect I'm sure, exploitation films from the 30s. But, Keith Olbermann shows the same material in his segment that criticizes O'Reilly for showing it. Couldn't one argue that he is just exploiting the material under the guise of denouncing O'Reilly. And perhaps I am just exploiting the material under the guise of denouncing Olbermann's hypocrisy. Quick, someone jump on the meta-wagon and denounce me for some reason as an excuse to link to the sexy material which shows, for example, sexy spring break footage during a story about a serial killer. See? Don't you wanna check out the story now?

Hey maybe plenty of people will be interested in my recursive-hypocrisy idea and will start reading my blog more. Then I can be accused of exploiting my own idea for the goal of receiving more hits on my blog. And if all goes as planned someone will denounce the accuser for trying to leach onto my success. Then I will criticize that person for being overly cynical under the guise of appearing open to criticism, but my sinister motive will be that I really just want to appear open-minded, when all I really want to do is gain enough hits so that I can start featuring advertising on my blog to receive some revenue. I'll decide that the quickest and dirtiest way to get some cash will be to feature ads for pornographic material. I'll be featured in an O'Reilly Factor segment on bloggers who try to cash in on their success by featuring explicit ads, banners, and pop-ups on their blogs. The segment will be called exploitative by Keith Olbermann.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Road with a tune

Only in Japan.

-via Presurfer

Tin Man

I took a closer look at those Tin Man posters in the subway and noticed some familiar faces: Zooey Deschanel, Alan Cummins, Neal McDonough... It looks pretty interesting actually, a re-imagining of OZ by the Sci-Fi Channel for a mini-series. I'm going to keep my eye on this. The last time Sci-Fi had a re-imagining mini-series with a stellar cast we received the incredible new Battlestar Galactica.

Up late thinking about Southland Tales (among other things)

Wow. That's all I can really say right now. I saw Southland Tales at the Angelika tonight. Hardly anyone was there, I'm pretty sure it will turn out to be a financial flop. It's too bad but honestly, it is one of the strangest, most mind-boggling films I have ever seen, and if you know me that is saying a lot. I really believe it is way too far out for its time. I came into the theater with several years worth of intense expectation, which is usually a bad thing, but it exceeded my expectations. It was more of everything that I hoped, and worried, it would be. It is lamentable, bbut unsurprising that so many critics fail to see deeper into the film. It is definitely convoluted, but it reaches plateaus of expression and spectacle that even the most experimental Lynch film cannot. It's somewhere along the lines of Lynch meets Korine meets Waters meets the fucking Disney Channel. And even that blunt comparison fails to adequately describe it.
My persistent worry is that Southland Tales will become Richard Kelly's Heaven's Gate, that the debacle surrounding the movie will discourage producers from working with him. If he can reign in some of his vision he could be making truly monumental work.
I'll post a thorough review tomorrow. One thing I'll say though. I believe you can only really appreciate this movie as a media-saturated, sarcasm-bred American young adult.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Stage Presence and the Halo Effect

All performers, especially soloists, need to be aware of The Halo Effect. It has always been a struggle for me to maintain an air of confidence, especially when a performance is going less-than-stellar. This provides a psychological reason for why you should never let your body language or facial expression betray your inner fears, doubts, or regrets during a performance. People will enjoy a performance more if they are comfortable with what they are perceiving visually.

It's Terminatin' time!

This and then this. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Le Écouter de Suzy

Hey check out some photos of my Sis and Robert's amazing house on their designers' website: Woodson and Rummerfield. They have the kind of dream home that I'll never have the patience to create for myself! It's very classic Hollywood, fitting since they live in that bastion of old Hollywood - Laurel Canyon.
Here are a few pics, which feature Suzy and her hubby Robert:

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

And hey, I'll include a shot of my own crafty design work. You can judge for yourself who's got the style in the family:

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

The dinosaur is named Louie.

Morning Caffeinated Nonsense Part 2

I've blogged before about my annoyance with the inspiring messages on cups at Starbucks. Well apparently I'm not the only one. Back in 2005 the Concerned Women for America (sounds like a group you wanna party with don't it?) staged a minor campaign against Starbucks for their liberal agenda, specifically for promoting the "homosexual agenda".

The group believes corporations have a responsibility to reflect the diversity of their customers by taking a balanced approach — or staying out of divisive social issues altogether.

And while the group is not calling for a boycott, its position nonetheless raises questions about what role — if any — corporations should take on potentially sensitive matters, especially at a time when the nation is divided, largely along religious lines, on issues such as gay rights.


Look, Starbucks is a private company. They can say what they want, no matter how right or wrong, inspiring or aggravating. They are doing this whole campaign so they can be seen as slightly more maverick to their core consumers, urbanites and left leaning people across America. What's odd is that the CWFA cites the Boy Scouts as an organization that Starbucks could contribute to in order to appeal to conservatives and "people of faith". Ironically, the argument that kept gay scoutmasters out of that organization was that it was a private organization. I agree with the ruling, if I lament the organization's discrimination of gays.

Also ironic is the apparent willingness of the CWFA's numerous appearances on Fox News. The cable channel is obviously one of the clearest examples of the bias of a private company. But, like everyone I rail against, left or right, it only bothers them when the other side gets a break.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Zs on Howard Stern!!

Wow! I just listened to my friends in Zs on the Howard Stern show!! Howard and Co. are completely ignorant and full of shit of course. Zs is some intense shit and they really have no idea what is going on in the music. It's rhythmically complex so Howard 'n' friends seem to assume it is just free or improvised. Far from it. It's really intense, beautiful music.

More importantly, it is AWESOME publicity for Zs! Anyone with any sense of good music will hear them on the show and be like, Damn! This shit is kinda sweet!

You can listen to to the show HERE.

And check out this youtube video of their performance a year ago in Oakland, California. If you look in the back, you can see me bobbing my head like it's about to come off!



PS double thanks to Ian Antonio, the drummer for Zs, who coincidentally lent me the parts for Scelsi's Khoom!

Microtonal Recital

I had my microtonal horn recital last night at Roulette. Overall, I'm happy. Some things could have gone better of course, but I'm trying to ease up on my post-performance perfectionism. I got a lot of good feedback about my piece Tallulah for horn and laptop. I just need to get over my phobia that I am boring the audience to death while I do laptop stuff. I cut my piece short because I was convinced that it was dragging on, but most people I spoke to said they wished it was longer! Cool!
Scelsi's Khoom went really well too. Mad props to Mellissa Hughes who rocked out the vocals despite a cold that just wouldn't go away! I was super-pumped about the ensemble, some of my favorite musicians and people in the world were playing.

Here is the list of players:
John Altieri - Conductor
Mellissa Hughes - Voice
Caleb Burhans - Violin
Chris Otto - Violin
Brian Lindgren - Viola
Kevin McFarland - Cello
Shannon Zakarison - Percussion

Thanks to everyone who showed up. Mad Wuvs!!!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Tor-ture, tor-ture, tor-ture...

Maybe it's apathy, or boredom. I don't know. I have struggled to get worked up over recent crises regarding atrocity. Guantanamo, Darfur, torture... I think it has something to do with the protesters.

Independently I think about these subjects and feel disgusted, angered, saddened. Oddly enough, when I think about the multitude of affected responses to these subjects I feel completely different types of digust, anger, and sadness. I am a great believer in peoples' responsibility to organize and change things. Greater change happens with movements, not laws. Still, the screeching old woman railing against Bush, the hipster with the Save Darfur t-shirt, the players in orange jump-suits; why do they repel me so? I tend to agree with them. Strangely, they make me want to care less about these issues.

I will admit that my repulsion is most likely a matter of my own psychology, that given the ability to focus and join the group for the common goal I would find these protests to be inspiring. But I have been breeding myself as an individualist in recent years, for better or worse. Better and worse in that I feel I've become much more discriminatory. I agree with these people on so many issues but the people feel so foreign to me. It is similar to attending a church: I agree with valuing peace, love and altruism but the way they go about it is so fucked-up.

I used to be involved in protesting, most often before and just after the beginning of the Iraq War. I was in London for a large part of this and went to some of the largest protests in London's history. The one issue I noticed on both sides of the Atlantic was the problem with homogeneity. If you were against the war you also had to be accordingly for or against a slew of other issues, essentially adhering to the generic far-leftist party line. Being anti-war meant being anti-Israel, anti-gun, pro-gay marriage, pro-drug, pro-radical feminist, anti-McDonalds, anti-racist, anti-capitalist, anti-globalization; and specifically in the U.S. pro-choice, anti-death penalty, pro-health care, pro-hate-crimes laws, etc.

Now, I actually agree with almost all of these sentiments. But I didn't go to the protest to display my disgust at anti-homosexual legislation, I went because I was AGAINST THE WAR. That is it. Demonstration organizers need to get it through their head that a focused message, unencumbered by loosely related issues, is the best way to get their message out.

I have a problem with the protest culture:

Where you have to echo chants and slogans that some person you don't even know is shouting at the head of your line.

Where the dress code requires clever t-shirts, face-covering bandanas, vaguely junta-style fatigues, and restriction of brand-based clothing.

Where everyone is fighting to prove how much more devoted they are to "The Fight" than everyone else is.

Where agreeing with someone on one issue is acceptable, but disagreeing on another is cause to be shouted down.

Where people use complex-sounding words such as "plutocracy", "oligarchy", "globalization", and "totalitarianism", which are essentially basic concepts, but they make you feel smarter when you shout 'em.

Where shitty folk musicians, musicians from obscure countries, chick-rock bands, and obsolete punk bands write overwrought "songs with a message" that end up sounding like fucking North Korean Nationalist Pride songs.

Where they generally hate materialism, except when it comes to the multitude of clever buttons on their jackets and backpacks.

Where people think that they have found the real news because they have watched Democracy Now! a few times.


Ok I could keep going on this, but you get the idea.

The saddest thing is that you know they are going to approve Mukasey. Despite the diluted messages of the "people", another pro-torture shitbag gets in office. Damn! I could have sworn that dressing up in orange jumpsuits and shouting, "Death to the Plutocrats! Death to the Plutocrats!!" would have done the job...

Monday, November 5, 2007

My Sis and Lance Bass

Yo! Check out my sister, the illustrious Emmy Award-winning Suzanne Marques, interviewing Lance Bass for E News HERE. I love when Ryan Seacrest says, "Suzanne Marques, you know her!".

Suzy's a blogger as well. Check out her blog while you're at it.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Sasha Grey is my new hero

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Sasha Grey is my new hero. Sure it probably makes me appear somewhat slimy announcing a 19 year old hardcore porn star as my new hero, but so be it. She rocks. She is also one of many people to emerge from being a guest on the Tyra Banks Show offended by the chopping and editing job they made of her appearance. You can watch her appearance here. As is usual, the show had an opinion, the dull mainstream conservative and faux-feminist opinion that pornography is merely exploitative. Tyra and her cadre of editors did their best to edit Sasha's responses and tailor her questions to make her appear as an innocent mislead girl lost in the corrupt world of porn.
According to Sasha's blog (on Myspace):
When the camera would cut to my responses a majority of the time they were showing you a shot of me listening to Tyra's questions (ie reaction shots).... so it appeared as if I had nothing to say. Believe me, I had plenty to say. I started out by voicing my thoughts on the negative aspects of this business, I told Tyra she was judging me, I referred to Pasolini, Madonna, and Peaches... "Every edit is a lie"-Jean Luc Godard.
I have read several other accounts of the restrictive edited narrative of Tyra's show. Of course, railing at a trashy TV show is futile, it still pisses me off. The best is after Sasha describes a gangbang scene and Tyra says she needs a break to clear her head, wtf... like Tyra didn't live through shit 10 times more scandalous living the coke-addled life of a supermodel.

Luckily, despite the hack job, you can still get a sense of Sasha's insightful justification of her chosen life. She doesn't hide from the risks and controversies of her line of work (unfortunately the producers revel in these admissions) and she appears as a strong person who is not afraid to vastly explore her sexual side. Her background was anything but sordid and her introduction to the world of porn was clearly a matter of choice. But as expected, the show goes out of its way to portray Sasha as a wayward girl ignorant of what is best for herself.

This is also not the first time the Tyra show has reveled in this porn star exploitation to the offense of her guests. Alt-porn star Violet Blue recently explained her surreal Tyra experience on her blog. Fuck Tyra and her safe brand of "empowerment". If Sasha Grey is not empowered I don't know who is.

Let's hope that Sasha Grey is the future of porn: a smart independent starlet who does everything on film short of breaking the law, all with a solid moral justification. She refused to be victimized yet acknowledges the bullshit of the porn industry. If that weren't enough, in her newest movie, Dave Navarro's Broken (that's right, Navarro from Jane's Addiction), she opens the movie with a masturbation-while-crying scene. She's brought my favorite joke to life!

Back

Hey, I'm back in town after a week or so of touring with AWS. Physically and mentally exhausted, but I had a good time. Audiences in DC and Virginia are weird, btw.

Here's a few pics from the tour:

Late night Holiday Inn drinkin sessions-
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

My impromptu halloween costume, which consisted of a Sweeney Todd poster stapled to my shirt-
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

My new favorite drink: Clamato and Budweiser! (ok, it was really weird, but not as bad as you would think!)-
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

And last but not least, me smoking a cigarette from a fake bloody hand I stole from a comfort in in Maryland-
Image and video hosting by TinyPic


I'll be back and bloggin' this week.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

New unaired Family Guy!! Stewie Kills Lois!

I feel a little bad about posting this, since it's apparently not the finalized version, but then again fuck it. I don't feel like waiting another week and a half and neither do you. So here it is in all it's glory:

Stewie Kills Lois

-found at sidereel

Voices That Care

This is about Gulf War 1, just so you know, curiously free of any military imagery:


I don't see how growing up in that bastion of mediocrity that was the late 80s/early 90s could fail to mess you up in the head a little. I remember watching shit like this as a kid and knowing that something wasn't quite right, but lacking any way of knowing what right was. I can watch We Are The World as something mildly humorous, since my memory is from when I was 5, very vague. But Voices That Care just kind of makes me uncomfortable. Please Movie/Rock/Pop Stars, don't ever do anything like this again, please?

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Hell fucking yes. Yeah, it'll probably suck. But it could be good. It could... If they put some money into it and got some good writers and actors, it could rock. I mean 24 shouldn't have been good and it is, despite the torture. In my fantasy The Sarah Connor Chronicles becomes an awesome new serial drama and Terminator 3 never happened.

Oh yeah and this is the chick playing Sarah Connor:
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Mafoo's ABC Adventure

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Subway Thoughts

Just waited for 20 minutes on an A-train at Broadway-Nassau. The train sat there, more and more people squeezing on, the subway doors continuously beginning to close and then snapping back suddenly. It wasn't exactly rhythmic, but it had a certain obscene quality to it, like a turtle head nervously poking out - or the colloquial bathroom analogy that refers to this.
This is not the first time I've thought of routine subway experiences in terms of bowel metaphors. The experience of a flood of commuters spilling out of a freshly-opened pair of subway doors has always reminded me of an exhaustively liberating bowel movement. The train feels lighter. You have an indistinct feeling of freedom, as if the train would never fill up to same degree it just was.
I'm listening to a British singer called Bat For Lashes. Her new album, titled Fur & Gold, is getting very good reviews. What caught my eye was the routine comparison of her to Kate Bush, someone with whose music I have a near-unhealthy obsession.
Her music is really interesting - vocally she is similar to Kate Bush and Bjork, but steers clear of absorbing the influence in a way that manifests itself to obviously. Like Kate, and a growing number of British female singers such as Lily Allen, she proudly sings in her native accent, but displays a vocal versatility so that she doesn't rely on this as schtick.
Stylistically, the music is very diverse. It delves into styles as varied as Petula Clark-ish 60s britpop in What's a Girl to Do?, to industrial in Trophy, and into creepy downtempo surf rock in Sarah that seems right out of Blue Velvet. Oh yeah, and there is a bunch of harpsichord, like a lot.
What separates her the most from those esteemed musicians with whom she is often compared is her lyrics. Let me put it this way: I enjoy the music best when I don't think about the lyrics. I mean, they're not Ashley Simpson-bad, but they seem at worst the type you would see scrawled in a angst-oppressed middle-schooler's journal and at best from the lyrics sheet of a middle-ages-obsessed 70s British progger.
Here's an example of the former, from I Saw a Light:

The light gave me life
Helped me see more clearly
And the children went to sleep
And the car was towed away
And the leaves were rustling
As the night turned to day

And of the latter, from Trophy:

The queens and the court jesters
Clapped, adored
Their hearts swelled to overdrive a
Mercy sword
Mercy this and mercy that
Let justice prevail
But if just want my trophy back
It's not for sale

I'd be lying if I said the lyrics didn't get in the way. Every once in a while I'm like: Damn girl, you're my age! Why do you write lyrics like a 13 year old boy?
My advice would be for her to simplify her lyrics, stop trying to be profound and just focus on what sits well on her tongue, but of course this is coming from a song-writer whose songs usually consist of one sentence.

Dumbledore Was Gay or Is Gay?

The easiest type of admission or revelation happens after the fact. Oh, btw I was on steroids, now that I already have the medal, Read my lips: no new taxes, etc. How much of a cultural milestone should it be that J.K. Rowling has retroactively made one of her major characters a homosexual? To me it seems too easy, and rather manipulative. Sure, you are the author, why not say that Harry had AIDS, Hermoine had a secret abortion, Ron often thought about the effects of Global Warming? These are modern hot button issues that, if tackled, give some instant credibility to the author. In fact the reason I never got into the series (well, past the first book) was that it seemed essentially a safe, well-written children's book, nothing to challenge my preconceived notions about society.

John Cloud puts it well:
Why couldn't he tell us himself? The Potter books add up to more than 800,000 words before Dumbledore dies in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and yet Rowling couldn't spare two of those words—"I'm gay"—to help define a central character's emotional identity? We can only conclude that Dumbledore saw his homosexuality as shameful and inappropriate to mention among his colleagues and students. His silence suggests a lack of personal integrity that is completely out of character.


I don't know why this should be applauded. Yes, it's nice to have a major contemporary fictional figure who is gay, but I wish he were not so ashamed of it.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Republicans vs Hillary

Although I talk a lot of shit about the left, they'll still never be the fire-breathing assholes the Republicans are. Jesus, they seem to get off on un-gentlemen-like behavior at these debates. Have a degree of fucking honor, dayamn! They gnash their teeth like kids on a playground. I'm not a Hillary fan either, but speak about substance! My favorite of the bunch, Ron Paul, said it best:

"I think they're bored, and they're not discussing issues, so they have to come up with all this political stuff," he said.

Paul characterized Clinton as "an easy target."

"They're using her to try to enhance themselves with the base," he said.


If only he had a shred of a chance of even being nominated...

One of the best things I like about Obama is that he steers clear of these tactics, he'll give his opinion when asked, but he doesn't seem to thrive on it.

Hillary's momentum is scary. Aside from the fact that I would not want her to become president, polls are showing her to be one of the Democrats least likely to beat the Republican nominee.

Sushi so fresh it's alive



There are two types of exotic foods, in my opinion: the type that stress your taste buds and the type that stress your brain. This is the latter. To be honest that video freaks me out, how the fish is still breathing while its body is sliced up and being eaten. It's like something out of a horror movie. Yuck. I don't know if I'd be able to do it. I mean I could, I just couldn't let myself think about it, which I suppose is the way you handle any exotic food. I just don't know if I want that kind of detachment.
-via Neatorama

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Hot Chicks with Douchebags

Wow, I just came across this site. I can't tell if it is more infuriating or more hilarious. I'll probably settle with infuriating, since every sensible guy has, as some point in his life, despaired on some beautiful girl's unbelievably bad choice in men. The guy who runs the site really seems to have made an art of Hot Chick with Douchebag appreciation. Just in case you were wondering, here is an accurate visual definition of a douchebag.

Here's his comparison of two of his favorite pictures, The Ab Lobster and Fish Slap:

Unbelievable. He's like the T-1000 of douchebaggery. He will not stop... until we are 'bagged.

But taking down the mighty Lobster? I didn't think it could be done. After all, pointing. At. His. Abs.

And yet the eyebrow shaving, the hat tilt, the affect on next-generation douche like Minnow Slap in pic #2, the power of the hottie and the douche-chin were too much for even the wily crustacean to overcome.


Really everything a good blog should be, it's focused, entertaining, and hilariously passionate. Kinda depressing though.

Funny how all the guys look like they're from Long Island...

Who do I hate most of all?

Choose one:

I hate

(A) Activists
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

(B) Hipsters
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

(C) Yuppies
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

(D) Hippies
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

most of all.

I can't decide. Feel free to vote yourself in my comments.

Now, I guess I would still consider myself more to the left than to the right politically. But it's becoming more and more apparent that I dislike the people on the left more than on the right. They (we?) just tend to be so much more smug, annoying, and self-righteous. And of course, despite their best efforts, they embody the spirit of conformity more than any TV-suckling red-stater. Nowhere is this more apparent than in NYC, where you see the cookie-cutter pattern they all fit into every single day embodied in around 100 people each. Uf! I know I'm being dark, but these are the people with whom I'm supposed to be voting along? Fuck. That.

Kill your porn-filled computer!

If this was my reaction every time porn showed up on the screen of my computer... it'd be like a Silicon Valley apocalypse in my apartment.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

TV Links Dead??

The death of tv-links.co.uk?? Let's hope not. TV Links has long been my favored link website for TV episodes and movies (their growing music video library wasn't bad either...). Now it turns out that the proprietor has been arrested. I really can't imagine what they could charge him with, but you never know with British law...

TV Links, as per the name, only posts links to sites, such as YouTube, Stage 6 (my fave in terms of quality), and Veoh. TV Links does not upload content. As the blogger relaying the story notes, charging someone for linking to copyrighted material "effectively makes the entire internet illegal".

In the meantime, you can find your online TV fix at other good link websites, such as alluc, sidereel, and of course Online Video Guide, which searches a long list of link sites.

I'm going to join in TNF's protest and post a link to copyrighted material right now (wouldn't be the first time...)

Pushing Daisies - 1st Episode

Good Show.

PS. Oh, just reading the update, apparently there is talk of organized crime charges. WTF??

Friday, October 19, 2007

Wes Anderson's spawn

10 Films That Couldn't Have Happened Without Wes Anderson. Coincidentally, almost all of these movies annoy me in the same way as Wes Anderson's movies. Little Miss Sunshine is probably my favorite, although it was a little too cute. The dicrepid pile of pretentious triteness that was Garden State is definitely my least favorite. That was one of the few movies that depreciated over time with me. I liked it less and less the more I thought about it.

Bullshit.


Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

Please Sit When You Pee sign

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

I saw this sign in a Greyhound bus restroom. Ordered emasculation. I like that.

Sneakers O'Toole

I love this joke. It is the essence of Family Guy humor.

Sneakers O'Toole

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Stephen Colbert for President

Seriously, I think he should run. Just as Hillary is pulling ahead in the polls and it seems like it's about to become business as usual, a major farcical candidate could be just what this country needs. If it ends up being a Rudy vs Hillary ticket, I'm out. There is no hope. I will gladly support absurdism, no matter how silly and unpatriotic it becomes. If Colbert can actually make it into debates and prove to be a mock, disruptive candidate alongside other candidates (that just appear that way), then we have truly entered into a golden age of irony and sarcasm. Fuck being serious. Dada bitch, dada.


via videosift.com

Vinyl/CD Hybrid

Sure, it's not all that useful, but the geek in me wants one!!

Pirates!

Arrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Teresa Brewer R.I.P.

Teresa Brewer, who sang the with-lyrics version of the official Catchiest Song Ever, Spanish Flea, died yesterday. Don't know much about her, but girl sang a mean Flea!

Monday, October 15, 2007

Wow. Leopard Mail looks like it's going to give Google a run for its money. I love my Gmail and Google Reader, but this looks amazing. Stationary? RSS feeds? Jesus.

Sigur Ros Interview

Awesomely awkward Sigur Ros interview". The interviewer wasn't really asking the right questions, but they certainly did not make it easy on him.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Book of the Hanging Nooses

Hey. News flash. When you make it incredibly easy for idiots to fuck with shit, idiots will fuck with shit. I mean, I completely understand being offended by a hung noose, that shit is fucked up. Everything it represents from lynchings to capital punishment is horrible. But do you know how easy it is to hang a noose? Boop! Just like that. Just scared and offended millions of people. If you give assholes that kind of power then they will inevitably use it.

There seems to be this paranoid fear that all of these nooses are heralding some new white supremacist movement or something. Is crazy-ass racism present in America? Hell yeah it is, more than people (especially white people) want to admit. But all it takes to throw up a few nooses and draw some graffiti is ONE PERSON: one simple-minded, bored, racist anus-face.

I've never understood the idea of giving so much power to a word, symbol or gesture. Curse-words, flaming crosses, and middle fingers just hold no weight with me. You could throw these at me till the cows come home and I would just look at you blankly. Of course, this is easy to say as a white-ish male in society. But I always come back to the Lenny Bruce argument: the fear and reverence given to these symbols and words is what gives them power.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Burn the RIAA to the Ground!!

Beautiful. This makes Radiohead, NIN, Oasis, Jamiroquai, and now Madonna the list of former major-labellers who have now dumped the Record Industry. That's what you get for suing kids assholes! They are fast becoming as obsolete as the Walkman and is there ever an industry that deserves it...

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Matt Marks is totally moded by Family Guy

Ok. I was a doubter. I worried about the future of the funniest show on television. Then this last Sunday's episode came on. Hell yes. What I should have realized is that the one before this was a Brian episode. They tend to be, like his personality, more serious and somewhat romantic, ever since Season One's Brian in Love.
This last episode, titled Believe it or not, Joe's walking on air is the sort of episode that tends to have the widest appeal, and surely leaves me in helpless fits of laughter. The use of self-referential/deprecating humor was conspicuous in this episode, with the writers poking fun at criticisms leveled against them by South Park, among others. Once could view these responses either as acts of self-consciousness or as humorous means of transcendence. I tend to be optimistic about it. I was laughing my ass off, so I approve.

In other humor news. I have always been a fan of slapstick movies, unrealistic comedies such as Airplane, Naked Gun, even the Hot Shots movies made me laugh. Maybe it's because I'm getting older, but the newest movie to emerge from the genre, The Comebacks, just looks awful. It could be because I'm just generally not a sports fan, but come on, one scene shows referees with dark glasses and canes. Oh! I get it they're blind! A-he he... It could be just my growing older, I wasn't particularly thrilled with the Scary Movie series, I just generally think the two young Wayans brothers are about as funny as a tube of Metemucil. No, actually Metemucil at times can be quite hilarious. I actually think David Koechner was pretty funny in SNL, Anchorman, and The Office, but I will sit this one out.

The Most Terrifying Foods in the World

Cracked has really reinvented itself in a great way, from the blatant MAD Magazine knockoff, to an online humor website that is actually smart and funny, while being informative (read a MAD recently? not much of any of these things...).
Today's article is The 6 Most Terrifying Foods in the World. Anyone who knows me, or read my recent Bull Penis post, knows of my, shall we say, penchant for eating exotic foods. This list though, Jesus. Most of these I have never heard of, though I am proud to say that I have eaten a minor variation of one of them: the Iraqi boiled sheep's head - last year I ate a boiled goat's head at Greek diner in Astoria. Another one, the Filipino half-incubated duck eggs I saw on Fear Factor once. By far the most disgusting one, though it's only listed as number 5, is Casu Marzu:
Casu Marzu is a sheep’s milk cheese that has been deliberately infested by a Piophila casei, the "cheese fly." The result is a maggot-ridden, weeping stink bomb in an advanced state of decomposition.

Its translucent larvae are able to jump about 6 inches into the air, making this the only cheese that requires eye protection while eating. The taste is strong enough to burn the tongue, and the larvae themselves pass through the stomach undigested, sometimes surviving long enough to breed in the intestine, where they attempt to bore through the walls, causing vomiting and bloody diarrhea


Eek. I am still creeped out by the eating of bugs. In fact, bugs in general have always creeped me the hell out. Although I did eat ants with Adam Shipman once in middle school...

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Live-Blogging the new Radiohead album - In Rainbows

Just bought the new Radiohead album In Rainbows. Paid 5 pounds. The site is moving at a snail's pace, they must be seriously stressed with people buying the album.

I'm giving the album a first listen. Writing down my reaction to each track.

Here we go:

1. 15 Step - A very bright opening for a Radiohead album. The track is in 5 (or 10 depending on your philosophy...). It starts out with a reverby 808 clap and beat-sliced high-frequency drums. The track get progressively more analog, so to speak. More realistic drums are introduced, then a pretty straight-forward electric guitar, then driving bass. Settles into a nice groove, if it does get a little "groove"y if you know what I mean.

2. Bodysnatchers - Fuzzed out guitar and bass begin this track. This track could seriously be at home in The Bends. Still upbeat, could this be an uplifting Radiohead album? Yorke's vocals are, as usual, obscured, so he could be singing about suicide for all I know. But it definitely sounds more positive than Hail to the Thief. Striking though, is the similarity of the first two tracks to Kid A, with the intro electronica-influenced track followed by the rock-out second jam.

3. Nude - Very unique, unsettling intro. Lots of effects at the beginning, eventually settling into a really nice tune, relying mainly on simple guitar, bass, drums, and reverb soaked vocals. Gets a little ethereal towards the B section, but the effects seem to be hardware-produced, which is a nice change. Nigel Godrich you demon you, this track is so clean, an early favorite.

4. Weird Fishes/Arpeggi - Starts with a drum sample-style breakbeat. In fact it's so clean, I might just take it... I think it is safe to say at this point that this album will be considered one of their "guitar-heavy" albums. Harmonically, this song is very beautiful, expansive and patience, the chord changes are unexpected and very welcome. Still uplifting, although Yorke described the album as "terrifying". Aww he's just afraid of be called a big softy.

5. All I Need - 2nd in a row with an opening drum solo, although this one has an ambient background. Most notably absent in this album seems to be the lack of memorable melodies and lyrics. This is usually a doomsday sign for bands in their later years, but this album is so far making up for it with excellent production and arrangements. But I have to wonder: it really is a pleasure to hear on my nice headphones, but would I want to listen to it on my laptop speakers or crappy iPod headphones, like so many people inevitably will? I wonder if the beauty and subtlety of the tracks will be lost in those formats.

6. Faust Arp - First acoustic guitar-based song on the album. Wow, kind of Beatles-influenced, with accompanying string (synth?) counter-melody. The guitars' chord progression really reminds me of Mother Nature's Son from The White Album.

7. Reckoner - Jesus, this one opens with a loud drum solo. Ouwey. Followed by electric guitar picking (noticing a trend?). The album is now starting to solidify in how Yorke described it ("almost embarrassingly minimal"). Hopefully the almost is a big almost - I think it is. Reckoner develops into a nice, lush orchestral section in the middle, with some really nice multi-tracked Thoms. This is shaping up to be a brilliant background music album. A great soundtrack to listen to as you walk down the street in fall, or to put on in your bedroom just before gettin "amorous".

8. House Of Cards - Ouch. The 160 bitrate is painfully noticeable in the opening guitar solo in this track. At first I though it might be amp distortion, but I know that sound! This is maybe the track most influenced by post-rock, although it sounds unlike any post-rock song I have ever heard. Reverb might as well be listed as a fifth instrument hear, as it is covering every single sound we hear. It's a pretty little song, ironically maybe the most memorable, and also the most sparse and hypnotic.

9. Jigsaw Falling Into Place - Starts off sounding like an acoustic 2 + 2 = 5, but then taking a left turn into obscureness with Yorke's trademark howls. But then a clear, present version of his voice comes in with the melody, his most clear lyrics yet on this album: "Just as you take my hand...". The song, like many others, is tight and neat, developing into a nice stringy jam towards the end. A good amount of strings on this album.

10. Videotape - Wow. I couldn't really write during that one. By far the most hypnotic song on the album. A four note piano sostenuto (with a very, very minor variation) rides over the entire song, Yorke mumbling characteristically throughout the song, a picked bass on every quarter-note, and an extremely limited drum part (with its phased, effected counterpart in the left channel). Towards the end, the song seems to make an attempt to break out of its hypnotic prison but never manages to, this could be the "terrifying" thing Yorke was talking about - it is kind of frightening.


This is definitely a unique Radiohead album, no doubt about it. It will never be as widely hailed as OK Computer or Kid A, I feel pretty sure of that. It will not be a major cultural milestone as those albums were and it doesn't seek to be. It is just a nice, chill album to listen to. It is the type of album you will find in your iTunes, a couple years from now and think, "Wow, this is a really great album. Why didn't I listen to it more?". Why? Because it's not here to thrill, it not here to make an impression. It's as thematically shoe-gaze as it is musically. It is here to exist as an album of good music.

Now, that said, it may not bode well for the future of Radiohead. Pretty much all rock stars settle into a comfortable style and end up sticking with it till the bitter end - usually with less than exciting results. Instrumentally, Radiohead is looking to their past - I'd say somewhere in between The Bends and OK Computer. The music, production, and style is all forward-looking, but they are actively keeping it guitar, bass, drums, and voice. The electronics and ambient pad sounds are used much more sparingly than in past albums. They do wonderful things with these instruments, but the music that results will not get you jumping around the apartment. It will however, put a smile (melancholic or not) on your face. Just as with Hail to the Thief I am thinking, "Now I really want to hear what they will do next...".

It is definitely the type of album that certain people will claim as their favorite, just because how understated it is. It's not my favorite. I think OK Computer will forever be that, likely because it is the first one I heard. This is a delightfully strange album though, in a way that isn't readily apparent. I look forward to listening to it on different speakers and headphones and seeing how I feel about it. Personally, most striking is Godrich's production. Radiohead should do what The Beatles never had the balls to do. Invite their producer to be a member of the band. He is perhaps the one contributing the most.