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Saturday, December 29, 2007

Baby, you're compressin' my heart...

Here is a nice article about audio engineering trends over the last decade or so. Yeah, maybe that sounds about as much fun as shaving a rotten asparagus stalk with your grandma's discarded Lady Bic, but give it a chance. It's written by freaking Rolling Stone so obviously it doesn't get too technical. The article gives a nice laman's description of dynamic range compression and the "Loudness War". If you've ever wondered why everything on the radio sounds twice as loud nowadays, this is a good read. There is a lot of predictable geeky conservatism, mainly of the "Analog, warm! Digital, cold!" variety, but also a good amount of realist opinions:
"Compression is a necessary evil. The artists I know want to sound competitive. You don't want your track to sound quieter or wimpier by comparison. We've raised the bar and you can't really step back."
— Butch Vig, producer and Garbage mastermind

I have fought with compression and the idea of compression since I started producing my own music. Only recently have I begun to make peace with it. Although, I wouldn't call it a necessary evil as much a necessary step in the evolution of modern audio production.

WTFCNN?

So I have had a sporadic feature on my blogs, dating back a few years to my Friendster blog (yeah, I know, I'm lame), through my Myspace blog (slightly less lame, but lame nonetheless), and into this current blog called Matt's (or Mafoo's) CNN.com headline of the day. Here is my most recent one. Well, considering the fact that the headlines grew more insipid and ridiculous as the years went by, I eventually stopped checking CNN.com at all. Thus the feature died out.
But! I was very happy to see that someone is doing the Lord's work in my stead. I found a nice little blog called WTFCNN?. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be updated very frequently. Still you can peruse it and find some choice banality in their particular selections:

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Friday, December 28, 2007

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Good ol' rock. Nothing beats that.

The secret to winning at Rock, paper, scissors.

I can't believe I had never heard this story:
A Japanese art collector who could not decide whether to sell his Impressionist paintings through Christie's or rival auction house Sotheby's, instructed them to play the game against each other.

Christie's consulted its employees on strategies and, on the advice of the director's 11-year-old daughters, chose scissors.

The little girls, keen fans of the game, explained that "everybody expects you to choose rock".

As predicted, Sotheby's went for the open palm in a bid to beat the expected clenched fist, and lost the deal.


Of course, the more devious RPS strategy is to play for what you don't want and intentionally lose. Most people won't be able to pass up the allure of a RPS game. Just play a millisecond late, nobody will care as long as they are winning. Mwa ha ha.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

My vote for stupidest new website of 2007

Blackle

Hitch on Christmas

For a far more grinchy view of Christmas, let us go to Christopher Hitchens speaking/singing for the folks at Reason. He's kind of a buzzkill but, as always, thought-provoking. And it makes at least as much sense as my Extended Shiverism view of Christmas.
Let's put the X back in X-mas!

Friday, December 21, 2007

What I did in 2007

Learned how to reprogram a NBX 100

Went to a drag show with my mom, sister, niece, and girlfriend

Beta-tested for Ableton Live 7

Played my first professional recital

Waiting patiently for 7 months (and counting!) for the return of Lost

Ditto for BSG

Ate bull’s penis

Had two blood transfusions

Recorded a new Alarm Will Sound album

Got freaky on the subway

Finally learned about dynamic range compression

Arrived at a gig with no music, had Melly fax the music from home to the fax machine in a conveniently open church office, and played the concert on fax sheets while telling nary a soul of my brush with disaster.

Had a botched operation that I narrowly survived

Started a real blog

Started a podcast

Drank Everclear for he first time (oy…)

Lived through a tornado

Created an ensemble/produced my first concert

Was banned from a Cleveland bar for attempting to pay my bill with a credit card

Pissed off D.J. Spooky

Had a morphine button for a week

Waited 8 months for a thousand-dollar check

Laughed as my friend had his arm broken

Finished my Master’s Program

Ducked creditors seeking tons of money I do not actually owe

Played a solo, sang, and performed original electronic music at Carnegie Hall

Took my longest break from horn ever

Wrote more music than I have in my entire life

Left in the middle of a rehearsal for a Carnegie Hall performance of Tchaikovsky’s Fifth Symphony (playing principal) with Benjamin Zander to hop on a train to New Haven and check myself into the emergency room.

Began writing a musical

Finally got on Gmail/Fell in love with Google Reader/ Had my life changed by getting Google Maps on my phone

Walked 3 miles up a mountain in the snow, in Vermont, in sneakers due to bad information Google Maps gave me

Collaborated with Melly a whole bunch

Played concerts in California, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Ohio, Virginia, Maryland, Holland, Massachusetts, Washington D.C. and New York (duh.)

Transcribed and arranged a piece of music for a concert for the first time

Spent my 27th birthday eating tater tots and drinking Shirley Temples

Gained and lost 20 pounds through no effort of my own

(P.S. this will be updated as I think of more. Feel free to leave any additions in the comments section!)

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Nevena Tzoneva rocks the house



Wow. Sometimes words fail me. Btw, Nevena I think I love you.

-thanks Kate (I would link to you, but you still don't have a blog! Waaa waaaaa...)

Why 2008 Will Be An Awesome Year For Movies

Rather than spending hours IMDBing your favorite directors to find out their upcoming films, here is a guide to a huge number of anticipated films coming out in 2008. This is where I found the Be Kind Rewind trailer and there is an insane amount more. Looking forward to new films by the Coen Brothers, Aronofsky, Richard Kelly, Nolan (Dark Knight, wuz ^??), Meirelles, Fincher, Tykwer, J.J. Abrams (new Star Trek?), Eli Roth, Jonze, Kevin Smith, etc.
Jesus, I could do posts featuring like 20 of these trailers. I'll save it. Just view the list.

Be Kind Rewind Trailer



This movie looks beautiful. I love Michel Gondry and this seems to accentuate his down-to-earth metaphysical approach to effects and filmmaking as a whole. It looks kind of like a gamble, but I'm optimistic (as always!).

List of Approved Baby Names

Of all of the freedoms I enjoy in this wacky country of ours, one I hold most dear is the freedom to name our children strange, awkward-sounding, and just plain dumb-ass names. Let freedom ring around all of the Bumquesha's, Sunshine's, Brooklynn's, America's, and all manner of pretentious baby names.
Actually, I kind of have a thing for alternative baby names. Amidst the many less-than-masculine tendencies I have (affinity for musicals, indifference towards sports...) is an odd obsession for the name(s?) of my future child(ren?). I've never had any desire to name my child John, Michael, Matthew, or any of the typical names of my generation. Now, while I'm not going to name my child Starlight Express or anything, I've thought a lot about finding a unique name and the experience the child would have with the unique name. My brother has had good ideas for baby naming, his three girls are named Paige, Sadie, and Livi.
But, all of these creative ideas would fall short if you happen to live in the country of Denmark, where there is a list of approved baby names, which, if your fancy name ain't on it, you're out of luck. There are a good number of names, but something tells me Bumquesha isn't on there.
I learned this courtesy of Mental Floss and an extra-courteous commenter left some instructions on viewing the seemingly exhaustive list.
Here they are:
1) Go to familiestyrelsen.dk/navne/ (add the www, etc. to the front)
2) On the left, click on Navnelister (”lists of names”)
3) The following options appear as Radio Buttons:
A) Godkendte drengefornavne (5552) - (”authorized boys’ first names”)
B) Godkendte pigefornavne (7662) - (”authorized girls’ first names”)
C) Frie efternavne (165) - (”Free surnames.” A list of of surnames held by 2000+ people, can be taken by anyone)
D) Firma- og kunstnernavne (52) - (”Company and business names”)
E) Udenlandske navne (6318) - (”Foreign names” - traditional foreign names)

Select HTML or CSV format and click on “Vis liste” to display the list.



The best is the name of the governmental bureaucracy that governs this:
The Names Investigation Department and the Ministry of Ecclesiastical Affairs
Don't fuck with them. Seriously, take your Jim, Jane, or Bjorn with a smile and exit swiftly.

Old Christmas Tunes

A couple of years ago I made peace with Christmas music. I had to, it was inescapable. Every trip outside my apartment during "The Christmas Season" was saturated with Feliz Navidad, Jingle Bell Rock, White Christmas (which I've still never had...), and the Augie Rios smash hit, Donde esta Santa Claus?. I tried glowering, displaying my distaste to anyone in eyeshot. I tried the permanent use of headphones blasting my preferred music. Mainly though, I tried to bear it like I do the cold weather, letting its tendrils of artificial goodwill lap at my hard exterior, while I held strong my rigid core of unemotional stability. Every once in a while though, as we all know, one sneaks inside and provokes an involuntary shiver.
If the definition of involuntary is a lack of control, then every shiver can be viewed as a sign of weakness. All shivers tend to deliver a modicum of transcendent warmth, one that is always proportional to the degree of prior discomfort, which is itself is proportional to ones weakness. The more one submits to weakness, the higher the priority on comfort, or the rejection of discomfort, becomes. This is where independence is lost and parasitic behavior begins. If my reward for walking 2 miles through the snow is a warm bath once I finally arrive at my home, then the independence of my walking moments are sacrificed to the weight of the moment I lower my body into the steaming water; I shiver, sigh, forget about my tribulation. During my walk, I am emotionally parasitic - I live for the bath, the shiver, much like an addict doesn't feel alive before his fix.
"The Christmas Season" is one long shiver for a country that endures throughout the year. We are addicted to it, yet we esteem it to hold its place at the end of the year, only extending it as early as the day after Thanksgiving. After Christmas is over (the 26th), we hover in a strange delirium until we dash out all memories and emotions of the "Season" on New Years Eve, and vow to start the parasitic process over with new methods of dealing with it.
About two Christmas's ago I decided to start "feeling the Christmas spirit". It wasn't so much of an embrace as it was a submission, but the seduction of submission can often trump independent desire. Picture me as Ripley, falling back into the flames, arms outstretched in vague Christ-imagery, the monster of independence ripping free from my bosom.
Here's a visual:
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The main manifestation of my yule-tide resurrection was my tolerance and even appreciation of Christmas music. But even if I tolerate Feliz Navidad, I still much prefer the more obscure and unique Christmas songs and covers.

This collection has been making the blog rounds recently. It is a collection of old (old!) recordings of Christmas music on cylinder, going back as early as 1904! There are some favorites, as well as a whole bunch I do not know. I've had trouble downloading/listening to the songs from the site, but a commenter made a RapidShare download of them all as a whole. The commenter has no email or website, so as always download with caution, although I did and it seems legit.

http://rs216.rapidshare.com/files/77420864/Vintage_Christmas_Wax.zip

And as always, for all your old-timey music needs, check out the 1920s Radio Network. I listen to this station daily on iTunes and their selection of old Christmas tunes is great.

I'll be blogging through the holidays, but while I'm at it, Happy Annual Extended Shiver everyone!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Good review for muh hornin'

Yours truly, Matt(hew) Marks got a nice review for my horn-playing in CityMusic Cleveland last week:
Franz Joseph Haydn was well-known for his musical hijinks. His Symphony No. 59 in A major or Fire may not have been intentionally difficult, but keeping up with the composer’s idea of ‘as fast as possible’ could certainly lead a less accomplished orchestra into worlds of trouble. No problem here, however, as CityMusic’s players are more than capable. The high horn parts in the third and fourth movements were superbly performed by Matthew Marks and Ken Wadenpfuhl.

-CoolCleveland.com

Yay! All the more rewarding since I stressed like crazy before every performance of that dad-blasted Haydn Symphony! Haydn is known for his casual writing of in-the-stratosphere horn-writing. This Symphony was no exception! High B's held for 10 measures, trills on high A's... Zoinks. It was fun, but I'm glad it is over!
Now I can return to playing comfortable microtonal loopy horn stuff!

P.S. Ken was a dream 2nd horn player, super nice guy and incredibly easy to play with.

Stop in the name of the law! Merry Christmas!

Worst idea ever.

My new favorite blog.

Covering the Mouse, a daily feature of all manner of Disney covers. I am not ashamed to admit my roller-coaster affinity for all things Disney musical.
This is the type of blog I appreciate the most in my Google Reader, it's about one post a day, usually of something that is interesting, brightens your day, and is often hilariously corny. Some of the covers are surprisingly good and some surprisingly bad. Best of all are the songs that I have never heard of before. Here is the one for today, from The Happiest Millionaire, a soundtrack I should know, since I own it on vinyl.
It won't be long before Christmas by Diana Ross and the Supremes.
(Btw I kinda like this song...)

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Note: this is not to be confused with my other Disney-related recently favorited blog, Mickey Feio, a blog that consists entirely of pictures of creepy knock-off Mickey Mouses (Mice?)
For example:
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Yikes.

Brawndo - The Thirst Mutilator

It's back and it's real.

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Monday, December 17, 2007

Alvin gets nasty

By the way....... I posted that last Alvin video at like 6 in the morning, whilst battling a bout with insomnia. It didn't occur to me until about 3 hours later, but while checking out Alvin and the Chipmunks trailer I came across this trailer.
Pay attention at the end:


Ummmmm..... did Alvin just eat a piece of Theodore's feces???? I mean, I've been trying to come up with an alternate explanation, but I think that's it. Alvin just ate Theodore's shit. What kind of sick, twisted movie is this??

YouTube Comment of the Day

"oo i love alvin!!! theador is too cute!! and simon is those average nerds that are funny in a way!! XD" - sora3kairi

A quick sum-up of new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie, which, surprise, looks like the worst thing ever to happen to anything ever in the history of everything. On the plus side, it shows Jason Lee finally embracing his gig-whore Scientology persona.

Here's the trailer (I recommend reading the comments on YouTube, priceless):

Germany to ban Scientology

Come on... let the crazy sci-fi cultists have their fun... They are not really doing any harm, except to people dumb enough to fall for their extraordinarily simple-minded bullcrap. Although that tends to be the M.O. of the E.U. at times, protecting the extraordinarily simple-minded people from themselves.

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(picture: Xenu keeping it real)

Sunday, December 16, 2007

How Many Five Year Olds I Could Take in a Fight

25

Looking for payday loan?

Banned from Playing Music for 5 Years

Judge bans a musician from playing music for 5 years. This is odd. I mean, the guy sounds like a creep, but on what authority can a judge order a musician to refrain from performing? That's bullshit. Not that the dude's band was particularly good (here is the Myspace for the band, NAILWOUNDS), but that shouldn't matter.
"You love your music," the judge told the defendant. "Your music has been the tool by which you have ingratiated your way into the lives of these girls. You may not play in a band in any public appearances during the term of your probationary period. I'm taking away from you the tools by which you worked your misdeeds, sir."

Million bucks that judge listens to John Tesh.

(PS this is my 100th Post on this blog!)

12 Days of Christmas, Liberal Edition (??)

Wow. This is the most retarded thing I have ever seen.


My favorite part is "700 Billion New Spending" that never seems to come out right. Although, the "Hillary's Woodstock Museum!" bitch, who attempts to show off her singing throughout, fucking up on the last chorus is pretty great.
What a bunch of dumbasses. Merry Christmas!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Missing Melly Morning



Miss you Melly.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Humans Evolving More Rapidly Than Ever

Wow, apparently it is the opposite of what my unscientific brain supposed, that the effect of natural selection was being hindered by modern medicine and technology. Evolution is actually accelerating, mainly due to rapid population growth and environmental factors.
Money quote:
"We're more different from people 5,000 years ago than they were from Neanderthals," said study co-author and University of Utah anthropologist Henry Harpending.


Zoinks... Those are the cats we are taught to look up to in the Bible!

Freqshift Debut this week

I believe that there cannot be too many new music ensembles in New York City. I feel very lucky to be here at a time when young people are doing tons of cool stuff with great, challenging, entertaining music.
One such new ensemble is Freqshift, a new collective full of musicians from the Manhattan School's new contemporary music program. They have a couple of concerts this week featuring music by Berio, Andriessen, Takemitsu, a few of their own composers and more. Check it out. I would if I were in town, but I'll be at the next ones.
Here is the info:

Freqshift is a New York-based musical collaborative that presents exciting new chamber music to new audiences. Dedicated to excellent music-making, the group trains together as the very first members of the Manhattan School of Music's contemporary performance program in the Zero Gravity ensemble. Freqshift is committed to the collaborative process between composer and performer and its programs consistently include new works by composers in the Freqshift ensemble and other local talents. Bringing contemporary classical music to larger and more diverse audiences is of the utmost importance. By programming culturally diverse repertoire, performing in non-traditional venues, and presenting multi-media projects, Freqshift promotes a wider understanding of and appreciation for the music of our time.

Freqshift is

Amelia Lukas, flutes
Philip Everall, bass clarinet
Victor Lowrie, viola
Amali Premawardhana, cello
Andy Kozar, trumpet
Will Lang, trombone
Andy Akiho, percussion
Vicky Chow, keys
Megan Schubert and Jeff Gavett, voices


Thursday, December 13, 8pm
The Gershwin Hotel - Music by Berio, Carter, Creshevsky, Takemitsu, De Groot, Andriessen, and Freqshift's own Andy Akiho.

The Living Room at the Gershwin Hotel, 7 East 27th St.
$10 cover, $5 for students - for more info 646 207 0595


Saturday, December 15, 8pm
The Player's Theatre Arts Festival - Music by Berio, Lowenstern, Davidovsky, and Freqshift's own Andy Akiho and Vicky Chow.

The Players Loft, 115 MacDougal St.
Tickets: $15 (at the door only) - for more info call 212-475-1449

Monday, December 10, 2007

The Beer Nazi

So I've been pondering my odd bar experience last night, mainly for a way to classify what the fuck the bearded hipster's deal was. I told my mom about it and she explained, "He sounds like the Soup Nazi". That's it! I met the Cleveland Beer Nazi! Come one come all!! See the mysterious Beer Nazi! Let him enchant you with his sarcasm, but be wary of employing any sarcasm of your own, lest you be banned for life as I was!

Banned for Attitude

I just had one of the most surreal experiences of my life. Yeah, I know that whenever a blogger starts a post this way it means you're in for a self-indulgent account of some action that has no bearing on your life whatsoever. But I just had to share it, it's too great.
So I'm in Cleveland, playing a concert with Citymusic, and so far it has been great. Coming out of the last exhausting week, I was hoping for a good experience and it's proving to be really positive: I feel good about my playing, I'm staying with a nice family in a mansion, and the people in the orchestra are shockingly nice and down-to-earth. Of course, as I've come to realize with life, a dose of good vibes tends to leave you wide-open for some bad ones thrown your way.
So after a gourmet dinner at the house of the people who run Citymusic, I went with some friends down to one of the few bars in this part of town. I get there and it's a cute little place called Wine Bar: great beer selection, one bearded hipster dude working. About 3 of us sit at a table and approach the beer fridge. So at this place, for bottled beer you grab one and wait for the guy to open it for you. I asked Bill to use his bottle opener and he was like, "no man, they'll kick you out if they see you opening your own beer". Yeah, that was my first hint that something was off about this place.
So Bearded Hipster (which is its own brand of hipster, really, it is so commonplace), comes and opens our beards with many a sassy, ironic comment. I remember being surprised by how snippy he was, it was kind of weird. Eventually many more people gradually joined our table and, having no money and only a card, I realized how annoying it would be to try and figure out the tab. Bill had some cash so I offered to buy him another beer at the bar if he would take care of mine at the table. This seemingly sensible solution would prove to be harbinger of doom for the future of Mafoo's relationship with the Cleveland Heights Wine Bar.
Bill and I approached the counter and asked to buy two beers. Bearded Hipster explained that he couldn't let me buy two beers at the bar since I had already bought one at the table. Essentially I was bound from the moment I sat at the table to only being on the mass bill at the table, by now up to about 13 people. So in a calm manner, if a might assertive, I tried to reason a way to make my plan work. Really the worst I got was suggesting that if I were to abandon my friends at the table and promise not to speak to them for the rest of the night, then would it be OK to pay separately.
Finally he said "Fine." in a curt manner and rang me up, muttering to some fellow hipsters at the bar about how, if I didn't come to the bar with this certain girl he was friends with that he would kick me out. I kind of thought he was kidding.
I got back to my table and about 5 minutes later he came to pick up some glasses or something and started talking to people around me about what a "douchebag" I was, and how everyone at the bar thought I was a total asshole. I attempted to talk calmly to him, but he was intent on expressing to everyone at the table how much of a complete bastard I am. He was actually pretty furious and was literally scowling at me in this middle-school fashion. He then informed the people at the table that I was no longer welcome at the bar and that I was not to be allowed back. I was just kind of confused, so I got up and left. I kept racking my brain about what I could have done to piss him off so much. I mean, I guess I was essentially telling him that his policy was bullshit but I was really just expressing my opinion. Is that enough to be banned for life from a bar? And all he really had to do was say, look dude this is our policy, take it or leave it. But I think the fact that he gave me what I wanted was what really sent him over the edge. Very odd. Bill later informed me that several people he knows have been banned from this bar for other similarly petty offenses. How the fuck do you stay in business by banning your customers for being disagreeable?
It's kind of a drag because this wack-ass bar seems to be the main hang for the people in this orchestra. So I guess after each of the 6 concerts this week I'll just hang out in Starbucks and revel in the glorious corporately-enforced manners of the dead-eyed baristas.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Ensemble de Sade Concert tonight

Anyone in or around New York. Come check out this crazy concert I am developing with Mellissa Hughes and James Moore. I promise you it will be unlike any concert you've been to. Yeah, yeah, yeah you've heard that all before... Let's put it this way. I really hope you like Tang.

Ensemble de Sade strives to revolutionize the relationship between performer and audience. While the standard deviation from the traditional concert modes has been to relax the boundaries between performer and audience, Ensemble de Sade seeks an intensification of the boundaries, an increase of the tension between the two opposing sides. The underlying hostility will become the basis for a new expression, one that exposes and utilizes the thinly concealed expressions of masochism and sadism inherent in all performance settings.

Music by: Michael Nyman, John Zorn, Krzysztof Penderecki, and featuring a radical imagining of Arnold Schoenberg's Pierrot Lunaire

http://www.ensembledesade.com

Ensemble de Sade is:

Caleb Burhans - violin/viola
Mellissa Hughes - voice
Bill Kalinkos - clarinet
Kelli Kathman - flute
Amir Kohrospour - piano
Matt Marks - horn
Kevin McFarland - cello
James Moore - guitar
John Pickford Richards - viola
Wil Smith - organ

and featuring Sara Katzoff as the Mistress of Ceremonies

It is on Friday December 7th at 8:00pm

First Presbyterian Church, Brooklyn Heights
124 Henry St. Brooklyn NY

$10

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Deutsche Grammophon online store

Wow, this really makes me feel like I'm living in the not-too-distant future. Deutsche Grammophon has a new online store, selling DRM-free, 320 bit-rate mp3s for $1.29! The top classical label has now entered the 21st century, something to which they have been slow as hell at adapting. I've already made about three impulse buys.

This album, I have lost two copies of and spent countless hours pining over. Now it's mine again! If you are feeling particularly impulsive (as I tend to be in any given minute), check out the Zemlinsky Maeterlinck Lieder. Seriously fucking mind-blowing.

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Sports photos to make you laugh. Laugh now!!

K, I don't really watch/like sports, but these photos cracked me the hell up, holy crap.

Just study this pic for a while. All the different players in the drama, facial expressions, it's like a renaissance painting:
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