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Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Gin, Television, and Social Surplus - Clay Shirky video



I've been waiting for this video to come out for a few days now. This talk is pretty amazing, required viewing for anyone interested in the accelerating evolution of culture or just 21st culture in general. He's speaking of the concept of a "cognitive surplus"; essentially that when we are introduced to new technology that makes our lives easier, we are given a surplus of mental energy. This energy can be expended in useful ways or wasted, as in the case with Gin in the 19th century and Television in the 20th.

Did you ever see that episode of Gilligan's Island where they almost get off the island and then Gilligan messes up and then they don't? I saw that one. I saw that one a lot when I was growing up. And every half-hour that I watched that was a half an hour I wasn't posting at my blog or editing Wikipedia or contributing to a mailing list. Now I had an ironclad excuse for not doing those things, which is none of those things existed then. I was forced into the channel of media the way it was because it was the only option. Now it's not, and that's the big surprise. However lousy it is to sit in your basement and pretend to be an elf, I can tell you from personal experience it's worse to sit in your basement and try to figure if Ginger or Mary Ann is cuter.
...

Media in the 20th century was run as a single race--consumption. How much can we produce? How much can you consume? Can we produce more and you'll consume more? And the answer to that question has generally been yes. But media is actually a triathlon, it 's three different events. People like to consume, but they also like to produce, and they like to share.

And what's astonished people who were committed to the structure of the previous society, prior to trying to take this surplus and do something interesting, is that they're discovering that when you offer people the opportunity to produce and to share, they'll take you up on that offer. It doesn't mean that we'll never sit around mindlessly watching Scrubs on the couch. It just means we'll do it less.

Good stuff, if you have 15 minutes, give it a watch. You can also read the transcript here.

Scarlet Johannson's Single



K, after spending the last couple weeks working hardcore on recording, mixing, and processing vocals, it's hard to hear this and not cringe. Her vocals sound awful. I don't think it's just her, I mean they can make terrible singers sound somewhat acceptable with enough effects and auto-tune. But her vocals just sound out of place. I mean, her performance sounds like she's the girl in the karaoke bar that suddenly decides to take it seriously, while the rest of the people at the bar cringe and hope that the next person will sing a rousing rendition of Livin' on a Prayer to re-lift their spirits. I've been that person. I've sang a five and a half minute Kate Bush song. It's not good. But I digress.

I'm also not a particularly good singer. But I know, and am learning, that I need to build the mix around my voice. It seems as if this arrangement, by Dave Sitek of TV on the Radio, was created without her involvement, or at most with minimal involvement. That's the technical reason, aside from her singing, that it sounds so karaoke. The backup singers are not a part of her sound, they more get in the way than anything. The arrangement is too droney and noisy without a break. And Scarlet doesn't have enough effects on her voice. Sorry.

It seems like he was going for that distant Beach Boys style, with the reverb-soaked mix and anchoring snare hit. But the voices! They need to be more distant and present at the same time! Wetter reverb, more compression, EQ the meat out of the backups so they'll fit inside of her voice. Let the reverb control the drone, the guitar shouldn't bear the responsibility.

For a successful version of the contemporization of this style, check out Comfy in Nautica by Panda Bear.



Sure, this is a lot like The Beach Boys, almost too much, but he modernizes the style. I appreciate what Sitek was trying to do, I grow tired of the cookie-cutter crisp, over-compressed sound that is most of todays production. To be fair, there are several things I like about the mix. I dig the beat, and overall the arrangement is interesting, I just don't think it works. It sounds undercooked.

K, that's my geeky opinion, from one who's spent way too much time recently on the production side of music. I just spent days mixing and mastering a tune that had two very different vocals. It's hard to agonize over that and then hear a major produced track with serious vocal mixing issues. Or maybe it's great... Maybe it's great... A strong man also cries... A strong man also cries.....

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Obama is responsible for the time I peed on the side of the WTC

My eyes are tired of rolling. You can only roll them so much before it stops being subconscious and you start feeling the burn. It's kind of a workout, not just for my eyes but for my exasperation.

Every time I read another Rev. Wright/William Ayers story my eyes are blasting their quads, my patience is pumping its pecs. Please people. They're in great shape. I don't need anymore. But yet the stories persist, and persist. And Hillary and the far right (not too much difference anymore, huh?) keeps making the case that anyone who has any ties to Obama is fair game for some linkin'. Ayers served on a board with Obama and contributed 200 dollars to his campaign. Yes and he's some batshit insane commie revolutionary. That makes Obama a batshit insane commie revolutionary. See how the game works?

Well, reading this Andrew Sullivan post gave me an idea. I'm tired of rolling my eyes. Let's play the game!

I support Obama. I've written much on this blog in support of his candidacy.

Therefore, Obama is responsible for my heavy use of hallucinogens in my teens, my belief in the abolishment of the prison system, my hatred of both The Clash and David Bowie, the fact that I didn't vote in the 2000 election, my S&M-themed chamber music ensemble, and the time I peed on the side of the one of the Twin Towers a few months before 9/11 (I had to go!).

Obama is in favor of drug-legalization, wants serial killers to go free, is against corny british 70s music, promotes non-voting, practices kinky sex, and supports the desecration of a sacred national tragedy.

See how it works? Now you try! If enough of us list the sordid details of our personal beliefs and histories, then bullshit like Ayers won't mean anything. It's sort of like Lenny Bruce's idea that repetition of a word makes it lose its power. In this case, repetition of an idea proves its inanity.

So join me! What else can we pin on Obama? Ever smelled your finger after picking your ear? You can tell me... You have? Do you support Obama? You do??

Ewwww... Obama likes the smell of earwax! Grody!!

Kristol wuvs Hillary

Can there be any doubt that the current conservative love-fest for Hillary is a deliberate ploy to get the weaker candidate to take the nomination? When Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Bob Cunningham, Sean Hannity and yes Bill Kristol all show their love for a Clinton you know something's up.
But I do think I can speak for most of my fellow right-wingers when I say this: We once looked forward with unambivalent glee to the fall of the house of Clinton. Many of us still do. But we also see the liberal media failing to give Hillary Clinton the respect she deserves. So, since we conservatives believe in giving credit where credit is due, it falls to us to praise Hillary.

The fact is Hillary Clinton has turned out to be an impressive candidate. She has consistently defeated Barack Obama when her back was to the wall — first in New Hampshire, then in several big primaries on Super Tuesday, on March 4 in Ohio and Texas, and then last week in Pennsylvania, where she was outspent by almost 3 to 1, yet won handily.
Shame to the NY Times for hiring a mouthpiece for neocon propaganda. Icky. Are we really supposed to believe that these people somehow feel sympathy that Hillary has been unfairly disrespected by the media (which for the record I do not believe; hello? Rev. Wright??)? All these wingnuts did in the 90s was play the media against the Clintons. The odd thing is that Hillary's main platform is that she wants to take on these 'foes', and now these are the very people supporting her nomination. It's all very strange and messed up, no?

GTA IV

With GTA IV coming out today, I really hope Hillary goes apeshit about how video games will lead to the apocalypse or some shit, like she has in the past.
She says the series demeans women and contributes to a “silent epidemic” of sex and violence in the media that could harm children.

“They’re playing a game that encourages them to have sex with prostitutes and then murder them. You know, that’s kind of hard to digest,” she said in a speech in 2005.
Sigh. GTA doesn't encourage people to murder prostitutes any more than real life does. The actual controversy with GTA is that it affords you realistic choices. Yes, you can murder prostitutes. Or, you can drive around in a Ferrari. Or, you can fly a jetpack around the desert. Or, you can drive a tank around and kill hundreds of people. Ok, well maybe not realistic choices, but more than Contra or Halo.

The fact that Clinton, Lieberman, and others think so little of the populace that they believe we could be somehow ensnared into a life of violence by an electronic toy (which is essentially all GTA, in its exalted glory, really is) shows the elitism and authoritarianism at their core. GTA is nothing like real life, not one person thinks it is. It's a motherfucking badass video game series that should be appreciated for the work of art that it is. GTA IV is seriously making me wish I never forsook my video games systems in the pursuit of other electronic endeavors.

(See also: Study find no link between video games and violence)

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Register to Vote on Facebook

Well lookie here! A Facebook app that actually does something useful. Register to vote on Facebook! That's definitely much more useful than vampire-bites or zombies or whatever dumb crap people be sending me.

One Less Reason To Visit Amsterdam

Wow. Not shrooms!

GTA IV

Dude. From the Game Informer review of Grand Theft Auto 4:
I now know how film critics felt after screening "The Godfather." It's been days since Grand Theft Auto IV's credits rolled, yet I can't seem to construct a coherent thought without my mind wandering off into a daydream about the game. I just want to drop everything in my life so I can play it again. Experience it again. Live it again...Grand Theft Auto IV doesn't just raise the bar for the storied franchise; it completely changes the landscape of gaming.
Must. Play. Video. Game.

Daily Gear Porn 4.27.08



Try to ignore the background music.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Phase Artifacts

So, I'm currently mastering a track which, if you have any experience, you know can be an insane adventure. I've been mastering my own tracks for a couple years, but I'm only now attempting to learn how it actually works (got me a book an' everythin'!). I recently downloaded a demo of Izotope Ozone which after 30 minutes already has my track louder and sounding better than after like a day of Mastering in my DAW, Ableton (yeah, I know... why would you ever master in Live...).

The thing is, mastering is way more technical than composing, arranging and general mixing. I'm scrubbing the rust off of the part of my brain that was at one time engaged for learning science (not that I was ever very good at it, mind you). But man, some of this shit flies higher over my head than Lindsay Lohan in a space shuttle.

While reading about the analog-modeling equalizer in Ozone, I came across the term phase artifacts. Guh? Ok, so the term artifacts in audio tends to refer to unwanted distortions or clippings that result from applying effects or maxing your signal. But phase? Phase in music and audio can refer to about 10 different things.

So I do a google search on phase artifacts. For fun, here are the top five reults:

Correction for interferometric synthetic aperture radar atmospheric phase artifacts using time series of zenith wet delay observations from a GPS network

Mitigation of tropospheric InSAR Phase artifacts through differential multisquint processing

Missing first points and phase artifact mutually entangled in FT NMR data—noniterative solution

Removal of phase artifacts from fMRI data using a Stockwell transform filter improves brain activity detection.

Although shade-off and halo patterns occur as a natural result of the phase contrast optical system, they are often referred to as phase artifacts or image distortions. In all forms of positive phase contrast, bright phase halos usually surround the boundaries between large specimen features and the medium.

I'm out of my league here people.

Seriously though, apparently none of these have to do with audio. I guess I'll tool around and eventually realize that it's some basic sonic concept given a fancy name. Music tech geeks are all about giving fancy names to things to make themselves feel more important.

Here a couple definitions while I'm at it:

DAW - Digital Audio Workstation = program for audio. That's it. Calling Garageband or Logic or Protools a DAW is like calling Microsoft Word a Digital Word-Processing Workstation. Why not call iTunes a Digital Audio Listening-Station.

Processing = Doin' stuff. Ya know, like digging lint out of your belly button is technically a process. I love when laptop musicians talk about "processing" audio:
"I'm applying some realtime processing to an incoming audio signal routed live into my DAW"
Translation: I just dropped reverb on my vocals.

Ok, well back to mastering. Oops, I mean um, applying a sonic revolution to my digital audio artifice.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Another Stakeout Love

I haven't really spent as much time on IMDB as I used to, I mean I've never really been a message-board geek but the IMDB boards were always a good place to find film recommendations. Well, one of my cult movie faves apparently has a solid following on IMDB. It's nice to see others appreciate Another Stakeout for the diamond-in-the-rough that it is.
Here are some excerpts of the discussions among the "Stakers":
It was disappointing that the studio had final cut. Badham originally submitted a 4 1/2 hour masterpiece. During the original screenings, people who viewed the original cut have agreed that it would have swept the oscars in every major category. It was a different movie - it had moving performances, a poignant screenplay, and the cinematography was breathtaking. The screening ended with a 10 minute standing ovation. Among the featured actors whose scenes were left in the editing room floor were Harvey Keitel, River Phoenix, Willem Dafoe, and Alan Young in a potentially career defining role as the assistant district attorney.

I hate all of the posers who say they are fans of Another Stakeout. Just because they picked up this classic on dvd or video or... laserdisc. Maybe one of those newfangled... blue rays or good definitions. If you didn't see this movie in the theater 7 times, you don't care about it. If you loved it so much, you would go back in time and see it in the theater like everybody else. So get the hell out of my house.

I have 4 [tattoos]. One on my back that is a picture of Emilio, Richard and Rosie--it's sort of a profile-montage. The next one is on my ankle--it's a stylized "AS" in gothic font. The third is on my left wrist (on the inside, to be as direct a link to my heart as possible) and it's the box-office total, including worldwide distribution, VHS, DVD and television market shares, excluding percentages of the gross not mentioned in the original figures. The last one is on my bum, and I cannot divulge what that depicts. It's a secret between me, my tattoo artist and God.

Anyone else hear rumours that Gus Van Sant, on the belated heels of his Psycho remake success, is going to direct a shot-by-shot remake of Another Stakeout? I have heard rumblings of John Mahoney and Jerry O'Connell reprising the Dreyf and Estevez roles. Curious to see who gets cast as Asst. DA Gina Garrett.

I'm a 62 year old man and an Another Stakeout enthusiast. When I'm on the internet I can pretend to be a lot of things; a 25 year old handsome man, an 18 year old nympho asian girl, Kelly LeBrock, a bored house wife, a 20 year old nympho asian girl... But one thing I've never pretended to be is not an Another Stakeout fan. That truth lies in my heart.

So if you're a closet Staker, head over to the IMDB boards and show some love. Oh, and be sure to visit the AS fansite!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Sublet in Brooklyn

My roommate is going to be away for the summer so he's looking for someone to take his bedroom for the summer (May - August or any division thereof).
We live in Kensington, Brooklyn, which is about a 20 minute train ride from Manhattan. Rent is $650, which is about as cheap as you are going to find in NYC. This is the larger of the two bedrooms in the apartment.
The neighborhood is safe, quaint, yet busy enough that it still feels like New York. Tons of places to eat nearby; very close to Park Slope, Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn Heights; a stone's throw away from the Lower East Side; within walking distance of Prospect Park; one block away from the subway; laundromat on the corner; a slot-car racing track across the street... What more could you ask for?

Oh yeah, you get to live with ME for the summer! A dream come true! Actually, I'll be away for a chunk of the summer, so you'll have the place to yourself for a while.

Email me if you are interested (it's to the left) and please tell your friends!

Monday Night at Joe's Pub

I played a really cool gig with Michael Leonhart Monday night at Joe's Pub. Here's a cool drawing of the event by artist Michael Arthur. I'm the bespectacled horn player on the left who needs a haircut even in drawn form.

Argentina Decriminalizes Drugs

Apparently, Argentina kicks ass.

Go To Hell, David Ford


If you've ever sweated over a single project for months on end, this video could prove harmful to your mental health. It depicts David Ford playing every single part from the debut single from his latest album, "Go To Hell," in one take.

Wow, this guy just schooled all of us who make live looped music. Damn it.

-via Listening Post

Saturday, April 19, 2008

If Juno Was 10 Times Shorter and 100 Times More Honest

Beautiful. From Cracked.com:

ELLEN PAGE guzzles SUNNY D as some obnoxious INDIE SONG
blares in the background so that everyone knows that this is
an intellectual, independent film.

She enters a convenience store and meets RAINN WILSON.

ELLEN PAGE

I need to use the bathroom, as I've been downing delicious, high-quality Sunny Delight for the past hour.

RAINN WILSON

Sunny Delight? You mean the delicious orange-flavored drink containing a full day's supply of vitamin C in every serving?

ELLEN PAGE

That's right! I found it in the fridge, behind the purple stuff! Now relinquish the bathroom key geeves, I for shizz need to spout.

RAINN WILSON

I can barely understand you. Is there a reason you're talking like what seems like a teenager designed by a committee of adults that have researched youth by watching MTV around the clock?

ELLEN PAGE

Yes, and you better start talking like that too or you'll have no place in the movie, Dwight.

RAINN WILSON

Oh, er, uh, I mean that's one doodle that can't be undid homeskillet oh my god I need a new agent.

ELLEN PAGE

You're so quirky! And so am I!



My sentiments exactly.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Mafoo CNN Headline of the Day 4.17.08

Mama duck's quack lures babies from drain

CNN you're driving me quazy.

Last Night's Debate

Here's your chance to relive, or see for the first time, all of the bullshit from last night's debate, condensed into about 8 minutes.



Oy...

Here is the end of the debate when these ABC clowns are rightfully heckled:



And in case you were wondering, yes Stefana... Stephano... fucking Snuffalupagus was coached by the extreme right before the debate.

Teen Witch Remake????????

Oh holy crap no yes no yes no YES!!

United Artists is reportedly producing a remake of Teen Witch, the awesome 80s movie about a... ummm, about a teenage witch.

Chances are the movie will blow big time (and I say this with a toothy smile on my face), but any attention paid to this highly under-appreciated art film is welcome. Seriously it's in my DVD collection sandwiched between Inland Empire and Visitor Q. Don't believe me?

Check this shit out:



It's starring a girl from High School Musical (another under-appreciated avant-garde classic), so hopefully they'll keep the musical aspect to the original.

Alls I'm sayin is that I better see a modern adaptation of this:



Ok... one more:

Wil Shipley makes it happen

Ok, I just visited SWPL to grab their url (for my last post) and came across a pretty hilarious little post:
...the greatest passage in history (from the LA Times):

“Wil Shipley, a Seattle software developer, uses his iPhone at the Whole Foods fish counter to check websites for updates on which seafood is the most environmentally correct to purchase. He quizzes the staff on where and how a fish was caught. Because he carries the Internet with him, “I can be super-picky,” he said.”


That is truly one of those perfect passages where nary a word is spared in the pursuit of showing what an über-douche poor Wil Shipley must be. My favorite part is "environmentally CORRECT"; not friendly, not sensitive; correct!

Awesome. SWPL is still pretty funny, although it could be more accurately called Stuff Yuppies Like, since it doesn't really apply to the majority of white folk in the country.

Ya know, the guys in red:

Mafoo LOLs

Ya know, I periodically subscribe to silly feeds in my RSS reader (Google Reader, get on it!!), ya know the kind of faddy (is that a word? fadish?) blogs that light up the blogEsphere for a few days at a time. Ya know, blogs like Stuff White People Like and Mickey Feo (hmmm... both Wordpress...). Every few weeks I'll tidy up my subscriptions and weed out these blogs with the kind of "What was I thinking?" mentality usually reserved for memories of freshman-year romances.
Well, I'm happy to say that Garfield Minus Garfield has not gone the way of Lucinda, the hedonistic dancer from Milwaukee with the endearing gap in her teeth. It still manages to yank a chuckle out of me, and in fact on occasion even compel me to burst forth a hearty belly laugh, as when I viewed this particular strip:

Das ist güt, ja?

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The Democratic Debate Part 2

Wow, the sound-bite hunting and gaffe-baiting is so blatant and shameless that I actually felt sorry for Hillary! Lay off, Gibson! Every question is asking for a promise. They don't owe these asshats anything.

P.S. Someone needs to get Obama a latte, stat! My boy's about to fall asleep.

The Democratic Debate

Ugh... These are the WORST debate questions I have ever heard. Flag pins, William Ayers, etc. Come on. They keep asking them to make promises, as if they owe George Stefanopolis and Charlie Gibson anything.

They both look tired though. Obama isn't at his best, but he pulls it together when attacked.

CNN is like the worst "news" source. Ever.

Now, y'all know I'm a fan of bad CNN headlines. Well here's a blog that not only collects them, but illustrates them as well!

CNN is like the worst "news" source. Ever.



April 15 2008 - Pit bulls kill cancer boy's miniature horse

Did they really use the term cancer boy???

(see also WTFCNN?

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Rehearsals for The Little Death

We've started rehearsals for The Little Death, my erotic Christian pop musical.
Here we are at the Icehaus:

That's Melly there playing piano and singing, and Pete in the back playing some floor glock.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

YouTube eats itself

Obama apologizes over the use of a highly offensive word

Heavens! How did Obama let this one slip?

Ok, seriously? They're riding him over use of the word 'bitter'?? The level of debate is so shockingly juvenile. Hillary Clinton has shown herself to be a person I simply do not respect, that is unworthy to lead. She knows how Obama used the word, she knows she is full of shit, but she continues to freak on it. This is either an impressive display of cognitive dissonance, a facility in lying, or she's as dumb as the people she thinks will buy this crap, and I don't believe she's dumb.

Now, I don't think Obama will change politics as we know it. I know his hope stuff is pretty much a load of crap. I disagree with a good amount of his policies. But the fact that he is even attempting to raise the level of discourse in this country is enough for me.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Gretchen Snedeker 1983-2008

Wow, really terrible news:
Gretchen M. Snedeker packed a lot into her short life.

At 24, she was already the principal French horn player in two orchestras, had earned her master's degree from the Eastman School of Music in Rochester, was an adjunct music professor at Colgate University and was being groomed to take over as principal horn player at Glimmerglass Opera in Cooperstown.

Thursday, the Baldwinsville woman's life was cut short when she died from injuries suffered in an accident earlier that day in Oneida.
I always dug Gretchen. Really talented at the horn and a genuinely sunny person. I used to love saying her name in a funny old man voice ("Gretchen! Snedeker!") and she would grin and bear it, even though I'm sure it was annoying after like 800 times; great name though, like from a Mark Twain novel. I hear that Gretchen took over the new music horn geekdom after I finished at Eastman, becoming the go-to-gal for Ossia and Musica Nova; I always dug that she challenged herself and went gung-ho into the scary world of new music for horn.
I hadn't spoken to her in a while, but it seems that she had been doing really well musically upstate. She was also engaged which is nice to hear, but of course makes it all the more tragic. My thoughts are with her friends and family.

Ahhhhhhh.....

Oh sweet lord, I just had a coffeegasm.

Some sanity in the midst of hysteria

From Why I let my 9-year-old ride the subway alone:
“How would you have felt if he didn’t come home?” a New Jersey mom of four, Vicki Garfinkle, asked.

Guess what, Ms. Garfinkle: I’d have been devastated. But would that just prove that no mom should ever let her child ride the subway alone?

No. It would just be one more awful but extremely rare example of random violence, the kind that hyper parents cite as proof that every day in every way our children are more and more vulnerable.

...

The problem with this everything-is-dangerous outlook is that over-protectiveness is a danger in and of itself. A child who thinks he can’t do anything on his own eventually can’t.



UPDATE: Lenore Skenazy has a blog, check it out: Free Range Kids

Friday, April 11, 2008

Hometown Pride

Downey in the house:
Chi Mak, a 65-year-old naturalized U.S. citizen living in Downey, California, was found guilty of having orchestrated the conspiracy to obtain naval technology and to illegally export the material to China, the Department of Justice said in a news release. Mak worked for defense contractor Power Paragon.

D-O-W! (clap! clap! clap!) N-E-Y! (clap! clap! clap!)

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

"We'll be pouring out more coffee than most people serve"

That's a quote by Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks, speaking of his company's new 'everyday' brew.
Chairman and Chief Executive Howard Schultz said the new blend will have a bold, robust flavor profile that customers have come to expect of Starbucks coffee, but with a smoother, buttery finish.

"smoother, buttery finish" = weaker

Starbucks is competing with Dunkin Donuts and McDonalds who have both significantly upgraded their coffee. I think it's a good thing that these fast food places have better coffee, even if it is still kinda crappy (actually I have a soft spot for Dunkin's coffee for some reason). But if Starbucks reacts by lowering the "boldness" of their coffee, then I think they are heading in the wrong direction. Like many idealists, I believe that one day in the not-too-distant future we too, like the Euros, will have dark, rich coffee at our disposal, wherever we are. But maybe that's no different than wishing for a socialist/laissez-faire/christian utopia.

Speaking of laissez-faire and Starbucks, Starbucks recently banned the phrase "laissez-faire" from their customized cards. What do you think, accidental or intentional? Irony or hypocrisy?
(via The Agitator)

Jerseyband AND Gutbucket this Friday at Fontana's

Whoa. Don't miss this. This Friday at 7 at Fontana's.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Mafoo's CNN Headline of the Day

Are guys allergic to chores?


More men are vacuuming under the couch cushions rather than just sitting on them.


(Picture and description are actually from the story...)

Thursday, April 3, 2008

6 Million for Baby Photos

Guh... Does this blow anyone else's mind? People magazine paid 6 million (!) for exclusive baby photos of J.Lo and Marc Anthony's twins. Marc Anthony then took half of that and bought his wife a pair of 3.2 million dollar earrings... Double guh...

Ok. I can understand when Hustler offers Ashley Dupre a million to pose nude; there are millions of guys who want to involve her in their own private fantasies. It's out, but it makes sense. 6 million for fucking baby pictures though? That means there is 6 times the demand for these baby pics. Ok, this is something I just cannot fathom. Maybe it is because I am a guy. Maybe looking at baby pics is to women what looking at porn is to men, in that it fulfills the same fantastical obsessiveness. But, ya know, apparently 6 times as much.

The thing that makes Mafoo's brain shatter into 6 million tiny shards of fractured agony is this: Doesn't People understand that within minutes these photos will be all over the web??? So that their exclusive feature on the spawn of these two hateful gluttonous monsters will be meaningless???? Can anyone hear me???? Aaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

Ok, fuck it. I guess I just don't get it. Here's a video about a guy who fucks his picnic table:

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

You're Not My Father!



This is a beautiful work of art, no joke. It's nice to see other people mining Full House for inspiration.

(via Spout blog

Your Daily Dose of Soul-Crushing Banality


Worst Karaoke Session Ever - Watch more free videos

I think I just found my next transcription project.

(Btw, this weird embedded player may not show up in your RSS reader, so visit my site if you can't see it)